You can lead a horse to water But you can't beat it over the head with a piece of rebar and stick a lit m-80 up its ass as you eviscerate it with a Katana whilst chewing gum.
Kittalia A. sent us the following questions about Patty, the Bigfoot in the Patterson-Gimlin film. They are all very good questions that we we wish we knew the answers to. We're no "Henry May" and it's times like this that we wish we had his number. Since we don't have Henry around whenever we need him, here are some easy questions for all you Patterson-Gimlin believers to try and answer:
Thanks to Matt Moneymaker for sharing this story with us from a guy named Thomas S. who was camping with some friends near the French Meadows Reservoir in August 2012. This remote, forested basin is located on the American River approximately 58 miles east of Auburn in the Sierra Nevada's. Before his encounter, the man thought Bigfoot "was just for entertainment purposes", but he changed his tune when he ended up with messy drawers that night. "That will teach to goof on our show," says Matt.
Uh Oh. Here we go again, folks. M.K. Davis originally brought up this theory called the "Bluff Creek massacre" theory back in 2008 at a conference. The controversial theory was immediately rejected by the Bigfoot community and Davis was shunned from ever speaking about it again. According to Davis, based on his expert film analysis and color enhancements of frame 352 of the PG film, he theorizes that the Patterson party had been to the Bluff Creek site at least once before returning to capture their famous Bigfoot video. His theory also suggests that the party probably murdered a family of Bigfoots and buried their bodies. Davis points to an enhanced anomaly resembling a bloody dog print and a pool of blood as proof of his theory.
"I would rather be sodomized by an Albawitch any day of the week"
ReplyDeleteSo whitty and ghay.
You can lead a horse to water
ReplyDeleteBut you can't beat it over the head with a piece of rebar and stick a lit m-80 up its ass as you eviscerate it with a Katana whilst chewing gum.
More humor for those a bit light in the loofers.
"In his classic 911 phone call you can hear Jerry's cries of ecstasy as hes sodomized by an Albawitch and a Pukwudgie."
ReplyDeleteHi Mayor!
"Dr. Todd Dissotel has estimated a male bigfoot's wiener to be. between 20-36"."
ReplyDeleteSo whitty and ghay
Thanks for the compliments. I'm blushing.
ReplyDelete