Discovering Bigfoot with Todd Standing
Todd Standing of Sylvanic Bigfoot shares some of his insight into the creature known as sasquatch. Todd has dedicated his life to this subject.
Samurai Chatter: Have you used it in the field?
Editor's Note: This is a guest post by Suzie M., a sasquatch enthusiast. Crypto-linguists believe that the species known Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti/Yowie ect speak and understand a complex language, which by all accounts seems to stem from Asia. When one listens to it there is definitely a sense of it being Chinese or Japanese. It is a very odd mix of sounds, clicks and what could be actual words. This is the reason some experts are looking into the Asian dialect theory, some have said it could be a lost dialect, which was carried from Asia by the Bigfoot species that colonised America.
Unbeknownst to the layman a sasquatch actually has very dainty feet and small hands, the rugged unshaven facial features make for quite the fetching individual. It is also a surprising fact that the males are all circumcised however I feel this is for hygienic rather than religious reasons. The scrotum actually hangs down to the knees on both the Male and female of the species. The hair is actually just pubic hairs that have grown out over the whole body due to lack of grooming. The awful stench of these creatures is due to the lack of proper toilet facilities and the fact that they urinate and defecate while in the standing position. They do this while they or still or moving. They are fond of eating deer scat because it is round and bite size and readily available. They shun clothing due to the whole urine and defecation thing . They have their own language consisting of grunts, flatulence and belching, to hear them singing is disturbing and beautiful. They yell and bang on trees for no apparent reason at all due to limited mental capacity, they are also psychic and smart. If you were to shoot one in the forest and kill it the others would surround you and belch and fart for you to put them out of their miserable existence. What fascinating creatures, buy my movie.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Buy my movie
DeleteFuck Todd "The Fraud" Standing.
ReplyDeleteEven his beard looks fake!
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