Unbeknownst to the layman a sasquatch actually has very dainty feet and small hands, the rugged unshaven facial features make for quite the fetching individual. It is also a surprising fact that the males are all circumcised however I feel this is for hygienic rather than religious reasons. The scrotum actually hangs down to the knees on both the Male and female of the species. The hair is actually just pubic hairs that have grown out over the whole body due to lack of grooming. The awful stench of these creatures is due to the lack of proper toilet facilities and the fact that they urinate and defecate while in the standing position. They do this while they or still or moving. They are fond of eating deer scat because it is round and bite size and readily available. They shun clothing due to the whole urine and defecation thing . They have their own language consisting of grunts, flatulence and belching, to hear them singing is disturbing and beautiful. They yell and bang on trees for no apparent reason at all due to limited mental capacity, they are also psychic and smart. If you were to shoot one in the forest and kill it the others would surround you and belch and fart for you to put them out of their miserable existence. What fascinating creatures, buy my movie.
This story was circulating the internet way back in 2004, or maybe as far back as 1999. Back when everybody was on 56k dial-up modems and a "Facebook" was just a regular book with directory listing of names and headshots. This story was so disturbing and so shocking that nobody believed it at the time. It was the Robert Lindsay " Bear Hunter: Two Bigfoots Shot and DNA Samples Taken " story of the time. And like Robert's Bear Hunter story , this witness didn't have a name. The only thing known about the witness is that this person was a government employee, anonymous of course. The author of the story was a science teacher named Thom Powell who believe it really happened and that the whole story was an elaborate cover-up. Powell said the anonymous government employee alerted the BFRO about a 7.5 feet long/tall burn victim with "multiple burns on hands, feet, legs and body; some 2nd and 3rd degree burns". Sadly, there was no DNA samples taken from...
Rumors abound on whether or not Finding Bigfoot will continue, but hopeful news is on the horizon. Snake Oil Productions, the production company responsible for Finding Bigfoot, is seeking a permit for filming in the Monterey, Virginia area. Monterey lies between the Monongahela and George Washington National Forests. Definitely a good place to look for bigfoot. We can only speculate if this means Finding Bigfoot has been signed on for additional seasons, or if perhaps a new bigfoot show is in the works. We'll keep you updated on any further announcements for sure.
Editor's Note: This is a guest post by Suzie M., a sasquatch enthusiast. Crypto-linguists believe that the species known Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti/Yowie ect speak and understand a complex language, which by all accounts seems to stem from Asia. When one listens to it there is definitely a sense of it being Chinese or Japanese. It is a very odd mix of sounds, clicks and what could be actual words. This is the reason some experts are looking into the Asian dialect theory, some have said it could be a lost dialect, which was carried from Asia by the Bigfoot species that colonised America.
Unbeknownst to the layman a sasquatch actually has very dainty feet and small hands, the rugged unshaven facial features make for quite the fetching individual. It is also a surprising fact that the males are all circumcised however I feel this is for hygienic rather than religious reasons. The scrotum actually hangs down to the knees on both the Male and female of the species. The hair is actually just pubic hairs that have grown out over the whole body due to lack of grooming. The awful stench of these creatures is due to the lack of proper toilet facilities and the fact that they urinate and defecate while in the standing position. They do this while they or still or moving. They are fond of eating deer scat because it is round and bite size and readily available. They shun clothing due to the whole urine and defecation thing . They have their own language consisting of grunts, flatulence and belching, to hear them singing is disturbing and beautiful. They yell and bang on trees for no apparent reason at all due to limited mental capacity, they are also psychic and smart. If you were to shoot one in the forest and kill it the others would surround you and belch and fart for you to put them out of their miserable existence. What fascinating creatures, buy my movie.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Buy my movie
DeleteFuck Todd "The Fraud" Standing.
ReplyDeleteEven his beard looks fake!
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