The Umatilla Indian Reservation Is Probably The Squachiest Place In American Right Now


The Umatilla Indian Reservation in the Blue Mountains is currently a hotbed of Bigfoot activity and the news is spreading fast! The residents living in this area have reported hearing bloodcurdling screams and strange noises coming from nearby swamps since November 2012. According to one witness, the screams "sounds like it has a large diaphragm, can change tones & decibels w/ ease." Here's a collection of sounds recorded from this area including a footprint discovered by the NWBigfoot research team back in 2011.

Recorded January 21, 2013 on the Umatilla Indian Reservation in eastern Oregon at 11 pm:



Umatilla Indian Reservation sounds recorded on iPhone:



Two years ago, the NWBigfoot team, while researching this area encountered the same type of cries and found strange mud swirls on their truck. They wrote:

Took a walk in the woods, heard a weird wailing sound. When we returned to the truck there were strange mud swirls at the door handles on the driver's side. They were only on that side and only at the door handles. Bigfoot tried to steal my truck!!! They need to put a bait car in the Umatilla National Forest.


Footprints discovered by the NWBigfoot team:



The night before, one of our group saw something large moving out in the woods. Two of us saw reflective eyes of something hiding behind the branches of a fallen tree. The next day we went back and found several large footprints. This one being the most clear.

Comments

  1. Replies
    1. maybe one of the best mulder quotes ive seen, please ensure you are sitting down before reading it is quite a howler:


      "No, in "my world" (aka Reality as opposed to the fantasy land known as Skepticworld) I don't fall for cheap logical fallacies and shallow debating tricks. "

      Delete
    2. ^^ edited

      "No, in 'my world' (aka Reality as opposed to the fantasy land known as Skepticworld) I PERPETUATE cheap logical fallacies and shallow debating tricks."

      Delete
    3. fake mulder post more please

      Delete
    4. I substitute your reality with my own reality, which is the true reality and truth!

      Delete
  2. Hello all, Its a tater hole kinda day. Everybody is bean a tater hole talker. Even bigfoot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TeamTorchBigfoot announces that due to a lucrative year of illegal betting it will be conducting an expedition to Oregon this year. Look for our RV/meth lab on our 'Swath of Destruction' tour this summer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah mobile meth and Bigfoot hunting does life get any better

      Delete
    2. Bigfoot bigfoot whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when hashes mobil meth lab comes for you

      Delete
    3. The old lady is bringing her sexy squaw get up. Think those red bastards are ready for Pokahiny of the Slapahos?

      Delete
    4. Wooooo woooooo now you just need some transplants and it's a party

      Delete
    5. Harry you old carpetbagger settle down. No need to thrash.

      Delete
    6. Ehh that's get up in the morning when it's 11 deg music

      Delete
    7. hashbrowns5964Saturday, January 26, 2013 at 1:28:00 PM PST
      The old lady is bringing her sexy squaw get up. Think those red bastards are ready for Pokahiny of the Slapahos?

      Hey Hashbrown! I take offense to your racist remarks and wish to voice my concerns in regard to this. I wish to file a grievance to those who will listen.

      Delete
  4. Bigfoot understands the concept of using truck door handles. How interesting . Not!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If bigfoot figures out keyless entry we're all fucked.

      Delete
    2. Bigfoot is only attracted to gas/electric hybrid vehicles for two primary reasons:

      1. Bigfoot itself is an ape/human hybrid creature and therefore would only be interested in machines with the word "hybrid" attached to them.

      2. The "forest people" are inherently ecologically conscious and, because of an innate instinct evolved over many eons, they are able to discern whether human constructed objects tend to be environmentally destructive. A gas guzzling pick up truck would of course enrage the finely tuned sensibilities of the bigfoot and these people are lucky that their vehicle was not utterly destroyed.

      Delete
    3. ^^ Pure speculation and bollocks.

      Bigfoot is a good ole boy. As American as Mulder's mom and apple pie.

      GM or Ford or gtfo.

      Delete
    4. Real Americans don't use the word "bollocks" -- it's reserved for sissy Limeys who think soccer is a real sport and who watch the television program "Absolutely Fabulous."

      Delete
  5. It's Umatilla, Oregon but it might as well be Shitholesville, Alabama, only without the cool accents and good food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but not only is it the Squatchiest Place on Earth, but it is also the home of Jennifer Anastassakis, who holds the record for Harriest Pussy on Earth.

      Delete
  6. You don't wanna go down that rawd to Umatilla. Years ago, the ground down there went sour. Sometimes dead is betta. Ayuh, a lotta history there.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I read somewhere that MK Davis gets more ass than George Clooney.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does one 500 pound ass = five 100 punders?

      Delete
    2. Not if you count all the flour you need to find the wet spot

      Delete
    3. Bag it, tag it, sell it to the butcher in the store.

      Delete
  8. What's BE listening to right now?

    Allman Brothers live at the Filmore East

    ReplyDelete
  9. What's BE drinking right now?

    bottled Miller Genuine Draft

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes Grolsch is too skunky. I prefer their summer blonde when you can find it.

      Delete
    2. Lol. American beer. Pointless.

      MMG

      Delete
  10. So the guy films some mud on his truck but doesn't pan down to look for prints? Duh.

    ReplyDelete
  11. right then MULDER

    WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MONKEY?

    GOT MONKEY?

    THE PGF HOAX DONT COUNT SUCKER!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mulder can't talk right now. His mouth is full.

      Delete
  12. 2 best things posted so far "Grolsch...and Allman Brothers - Live at Filmore East" As for the Squatch substance, You'll Get Nothing and Like it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake

      Delete
  13. Will someone please come in here and Lufa my stretch marks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol get some olive oil that'll get'em out

      Delete
    2. What the fuck ? I mean what the fuck are you people TALKING ABOUT

      This is supposed to be about BF NOT your old ladies stretch marks

      I show my woman this "Bigfoot" site and this is what she sees Now how the fuck am I supposed to splain this Lucy ?! She THOuGHT I was a serious footer. Thank you VERY VERY much !!!

      Delete
    3. Lol that has nothin to do with anything it ancient Italian secret you put olive oil on scars and everything else it tightens skin had nothing to with women and as you can see I laughed at the dumbass comment

      Delete
    4. Thank you Harry. But seriously she does not want to here me talk about this anymore

      Delete
    5. Anon 550
      Show us your women's titties .

      Delete
    6. Be the ball Danny! Nanananananannanannaa

      Delete
  14. I don't think that is Squatch mud, I think a old heffer backed up to it and let shit fly. By the way has anybody seen these Indians drink on the reservations, Usually
    by that time of night they start cackling like a schoolgirl with a feather caught in her TWAT.
    Squatch Nuts

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks to me, I will say the best and educational comment on this blog. The vocalizations were awesome, especially the one's with the gun shots! The foot print was just as awesome. The mud on the door handle look's like it could have been done by something with hair but is inconclusive due to the lack of any further evidence supporting the claim. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gee, thanks John...an intellegent comment. You must be a grown-up!
      I agree, the vocalizations were awesome. I've never heard ones with that hyenna laughter sound before. That was creepy enough! But the gun shots were even more disturbing!

      Delete
  16. For your info not all indians drink. Obviously not all men think either--as we can see by reading all these posts that are a waste of time and space.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Believe it or not, that is the sound of an injured rabbit screaming. Hunters buy the recordings and amplify the sound through a loudspeaker to attract coyotes. Typical night hunting technique.

    ReplyDelete

  18. Gray foxes. It's around mating season, and they're doing their pair-bonding, territory-marking thing. They are extremely loud for their size. We have 'em where I live in CA and their screams invariably make everyone freak the f--- out. 'Mountain lion!' 'Bigfoot!' 'Chupacabra!'

    Nope, just an elegant little tree-climbing fox the size of a housecat.

    ReplyDelete
  19. there is more scientific proof of bigfoot existing than there is scientific proof of Jesus ever existing.

    ReplyDelete

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