How Not To Write a Cease And Desist Letter
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Mackenzie U., a student of Environmental Conservation Studies. She believes in the possibility of Bigfoot and is hopeful that one day scientific methods will help prove its existence.Poor Shawn received another cease and desist letter, this time from Rick Dyer. I’m sure he freaked out for about 5 minutes until some friends and commenters pointed out a few errors. I really want Shawn to poop bricks next time, so if you plan to send him a cease and desist letter in the future, make sure to follow these simple rules:
Rule #1 – If you are going to send a cease and desist letter to someone, at least get the city right! The first Sacramento zip code that pops up on Google is not sufficient.
Rule #2 – Make sure that you had a squeaky clean reputation prior to accusing someone of besmirching it. It’s hard to say that someone else sullied it when you did a pretty good job yourself.
Rule #3 – If you are going to accuse someone of defamation, make sure the accused cannot easily sue you right back for the same offense. I’m sure we can think of some ranting videos defaming Shawn and other bigfooters out there that have been posted by some people.
Rule #4 – If you are going to claim you have a copyright, make sure it shows up on copyright.gov first because you know it’s the first place we are going to check. I’m surprised that the government eliminated all delays and worked right through Hurricane Sandy to get a copyright registered nearly a month faster than their normal processing time. I hear you have to check a special box that says “Squatchy” to get the expedited service.
Rule #5 – If you don’t want anybody to comment on said video, make sure that you do not post it to a public source such as YouTube. Once something is public, we have something called “Freedom of Speech”. This means that we are allowed to publicly say that we do not believe it is real, this includes bloggers.
Most importantly though
Rule #6 – If you must send a cease and desist letter, make sure your attorney does not give you a verbal sex change. If you are a “he”, you should remain a “he” throughout the entire letter, unless of course it was written at the same time your sex change surgery was happening, then it’s okay.
First! How u like me now, McCheese, et al?
ReplyDeletei'm ordering you to cease and desist your bragging
DeleteYour post marks the first time in the history of humanity that anyone has ever typed the words “McCheese, et al”.
DeleteYour post marks the first time in the history of humanity that anyone has typed the words
Delete"Your post marks the first time in the history of humanity that someone has typed the words "McCheese, et al"
this could go on forever...
http://www.geekscape.net/geekscape-presents-the-top-10-best-living-food-items
DeleteNo! Look at #8 on this list :O
I agree. I have another idea for an article. How to cease and desist hoaxing. An intervention for the one in your life that can't take a hint. If you hoax,,,don't bother us in the future. Because we could give a flying !$&@ less about more hoax footage. Any questions??
ReplyDeleteAgree
DeleteGaw, there is no such thing as registering a copyright with a goverment office. Next time you write a critique of someone else's accuracy adn writing........
ReplyDeleteWhat do you expect she's "a student of Environmental Conservation Studies" not a lawyer.
DeleteIt kind of makes me wonder why she felt qualified to write this. I mean most of it seems like common sense type of stuff, but not necessarily legal.
DeleteHere is some common sense gents: if a qualified attorney can show you posted some nonsense was posted with malicious intent, not just joking about his previous PR mishaps.
DeleteIf the camper vid isnt his then you could get in a bit of trouble for saying he faked it.
If an attorney files suit for anything, regardless of how frivilous a non-attorney feels it is you are still having to spend from 2-8k for a retainer to defense, or if you ignore the suit they win by default and can claim endless amounts of damages, for which you are responsible. Apologize to Dyer, get an "all-clear" from his attorney in official documents, and go back to making fun if Robert Lindsay.
Dicky Ryder alert. ^
DeleteThe Double Naut Spy still can't spell right.
Go finish the 7th grade Dick.
Isn't there such a thing as implied copyright, i think it was called. Basically anything you create is under a copyright automatically.
ReplyDeleteBecause you own it, because you created it, you own all the rights to it.
I could be wrong there, and AU law is probably different.
As for free speech, i think it does need a "your being a jerk clause" where common sense should, while allowing jerks to say what they want, also perhaps allow others to throw pie at them or something. Im thinking specifically of that evil Westboro Baptist Church.
Shut up you stupid dick. There are already enought people on this website representing their opinion as fact.
DeleteDid you post on the wrong comment? Perhaps your just a westburo jerk?
DeleteNo, I posted correctly you faggot. You need to learn the difference between "intelectual property" and "copyright". Pretending that your a legal scholar might make you feel smart, but you can't deduce what passes for "the law" in this country using "common sense".
DeleteYes pay a professional to build it.
ReplyDeleteI am happy and extremely proud to announce that I am the new leader of Team Tazer Bigfoot.
ReplyDeleteAs the new leader of Team Tazer Bigfoot, I agree 100% with this post.
How about this... Can you just cease and desist posting ANYTHING that involves RD?
ReplyDeleteHe's not "squatchy"... He's "douchey".
I'd still fuck him
ReplyDeleteKeep your comments to yourself lady.
DeleteThat's not Sharon Day^^ She don't come here no more because of all the brash BS that goes on. Shawn gets stupid threats all the time. Mostly from Streufert and Nadia. The king and queen of the WHINE KINGDOM.
DeleteAtta girl, Sharon. ^_~
DeleteWhy would you send a C&D letter if you had confidence in your video? The fact that you don't like people "posting" your video or commenting on it, shows that either you are very thin skinned or it is fake. Anybody with REAL footage would welcome other's opinions and input. Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I think that footage is a joke anyways. It proves nothing. I believe in Sasquatch, but not in people who are known hoaxers.
DeleteDear Mackenzie, as you seem to be quite knowledgable when it comes to legal matters, my friend would like to know if it is illegal to assume the identity of a character created by an international fast food conglomerate. Also, what does the law say about watching your neighbor through the window as she undresses? Clearly if she didn't want my friend to see her naked, she would close the curtains. Thank-you
ReplyDeleteGreat questions Mayor!
Delete^here here Mr. Mayor.
DeleteRick Dyer is a punk and should be punished for his part in the Georgia hoax.
ReplyDeleteTaunt him, Shawn. You know he doesn't care about finding Bigfoot. All that matters to him is publicity and money. There must be an attorney footer reading this blog who'd be glad to rep you pro bono to help you drain Dyer's bank account.
Grind his face into the hairy scats and dare him to sue you.
Given the fact that the average footer didn't finish grade-school, I don't think that you are going to find too many attorneys on this website.
DeleteFunny, I thought it was buck-toothed lurkers like you who had the sub-primary educations...
DeleteYou tube is public domain. If you don't want your video showing up on blogs, stop being a cheap ass and host it he video yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know nothing about law subjects, but I know plenty about common sense. I guess I'm flattered that some people think this is legal advice even though there isn't an ounce of legal advice in there.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, I want to thank 1:17 AM Anon for enlightening me. I wasn't aware until today that you now need a masters degree in "Common Sense" and a bachelors degree in "Friendship" show support to a friend with a little humor. :)
Put your thick skin on honey. The guys on here are pricks. Oh and some of the girls too...not pricks but psychos. You'll probly get threats.
DeleteRick apologized for 2008 yet people keep piling on the hate. Mark these words Mackenzie, you will be the last to do so.
DeleteEh...I think it is like anywhere else in the world. 80% decent people, 10% buttheads, and 10% psycho. Best way to deal with it is to walk fast past the screaming psycho, plug your ears past the blabbering buttheads, and enjoy your time with the decent people.
DeleteI'm a butthead, not a psycho. Only kidding of course :)
Delete9:47
There one thing she is totally correct about is
ReplyDeleteif you have tainted record, it's just about impossible
to win. Also, he'd have to prove that the video is real
or he is dead in water.
But biggest point is,
STFU Rick Dyer, You came out of the gates bragging
on your hoaxing and lying, so take your medicine,
and stop being a whiny little bitch.
What new video? I want to bitch too!!
DeleteMeanwhile over at the bff, Kerchak is grasping at straws and letting his paranoia show.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mulder is so butthurt about Kit's suit he's using big words. Big words = bigfoot is real.
My question for Dick Ryder is this: How does the recent mandatory condom ruling affect your gay porn career?
Just a note on Rule 4: be careful here. Just because copyright is not registered with the US government does not mean that the owner does not have copyright. Registering a copyright just makes one's case stronger when legally proving copyright in court, but make no mistake, the owner of a copyrightable material does own copyright in the eyes of the law, whether or not they register it. If they don't register it, it is harder to prove copyright in court, but not much.
ReplyDeleteThat was in response to his "Also we have secured a copyright for the camper video from the Liberty of Congress Copyright office on 11/14/2012."
DeleteIt sounds as though he is talking about registering a copyright...but then again, I wasn't aware there was a "LIBERTY of Congress" copyright office until this letter came out. I read online that the LIBERTY of Congress handles all Squatchy copyrights and the LIBRARY of Congress is for all other copyrights :)
If you are going to attempt a humorous retort to a clown such as Dryer, it's important to know what you're talking about:
ReplyDelete"There is a distinct difference between the process for copyrighting and registering a copyright. In the United States, a copyright exists in an completed work without the need for formal registration."
I meant to say Dyer, like anyone cares if his name is spelled correctly.
DeleteIf you put "Also we have secured a copyright for the camper video from the Liberty of Congress Copyright office on 11/14/2012" in your letter, I would expect to be able to find your registration since you have a date :)
DeleteMackenzie looks kinda cute. If I was a deer, I'd try to hump her.
ReplyDeleteAll my copyrights for my work goes through the LIBRARY of Congress.....not Liberty of Congress
ReplyDeleteCame across this while looking for another old post. You are VERY mistaken about copyright. Photos, for example, need NOT be federally registered for a photographer to enforce copyright. Copyright is automatically granted to the photographer, or any other creator of a creative work. VERY few works are actually registered with the government because it requires a fee. Photographers and artists only go to this trouble for their very best, most marketable works.
ReplyDelete