Our black nail-polished fingertip friend, Lord Rick recently stumbled upon a possible Bigfoot stool in the Sierra Nevada mountains. According to Rick, the lack of hair found in the stool rules out the possibly of it belonging to a bear:
This large stool sample was found on a very steep grade not to far from the creek. Their is no hair found in the stool it also was very black meaning whatever this was had a high iron content or was a meat eater. We do feel what we have here is from a Sasquatch and we did collect the sample. Sadly with it not being so fresh DNA may be impossible to collect. We noticed near the sample some pretty large tracks in the soft granite their is no known animal species that could create stool like this in this area we are sure what we have here is from Bigfoot.
One thing we like about Rick is that he likes to talk. He seems like the type of guy who can talk his way out of a speeding ticket. If you remember anything about him, he was the guy who was chased out of the woods by a Bigfoot throwing rocks at his family: