"What the hell was that?!" "Did you hear that?!" "What the f**k is that?!" "Can you see that?!"
Nick Redfern just posted a awesome piece about the "The 10 Commandments of Paranormal TV". We're all too familiar with these type of television shows: One hot chick, green night-vision footage, and people scaring themselves over cobwebs-- all the right ingredients for a great paranormal television show. We place the blame entirely on Ghost Hunters for this madness. Here's the first four from Nick's post:
1. Thou shalt always have thy team comprised of more men than women. The former should generally sport some form of headwear (either a baseball cap or something befitting Indiana Jones). The latter should always be kept away from Manna from Heaven and the food of the gods. Anorexic-looking, in other words.
2. Ensure that thy cast doth drive a flashy all-terrain vehicle rather than a car. If that same vehicle can be filled with lots of cameras, weird-looking devices and advanced technologies - and bountiful shots of such items can be captured for the viewer - ye will reap rewards beyond thy imagination (that's to say you will get your expenses paid a week early).
3. Lest ye risk facing the wrath of the Almighty (in this case the TV channel that is funding the show), thou shalt secure a great deal of night-vision footage. And not for any particular reason, aside from, well, it's night-vision footage and everyone else's show has it, so why not thy heroes, too?
4. To avoid forever being plunged into the heart of some hellish realm, ensure that at least every 5 minutes one of thy cast members utters a variation of the following words (which must always be whispered, rather than spoken or shouted): "What the hell was that?!" "Did you hear that?!" "What the f**k is that?!" "Can you see that?!"
You can check out Redfern's entire 10 commandments of paranormal TV at his blog, nickredfernfortean.blogspot.com
It'll be funny to look back at these shows 20 years from now. What will people think?
ReplyDelete100 years from now they will laugh at us like we laugh at the idea of "bodily humors" and alchemy
ReplyDelete"What the hell was that ?" "What the f**k is that ?"
ReplyDelete"Can you see that ?"
Are things I hear when I pull down my pants.
This is pretty simple to understand...
ReplyDelete1. Women on TV are not interesting, full of drama, and are just annoying.
2. Lol kind of hard to fit all the bs equipment in a car. Plus look at the size of these guys. A car just wont cut it and cars are for chicks so see #1.
3.You can thank Paris Hilton for the popularity of night vision cameras.
4. Well your show probably wont last if you walk around saying "shit, why is nothing happening
3.
Best broski comment ever.
Delete#3 hahaha great
DeleteThis is the flavour format of the month for these types of shows, yet the shows get good ratings and people continue to watch them.
ReplyDeleteIt's mind boggling.
I would be amazed if networks could actually think outside the box.
Who's the hot chick in the green shirt?
ReplyDeleteIsn't that Erin Ryder? Maybe I'm wrong.
DeleteYes, that's Ryder from Destination Truth :) Can't wait for the new season to start up. Just found out my TV blew up this morning due to a power surge. :(
DeleteThat sucks Shawn. Hopefully you invest in a surge protector,well worth the money.
DeleteSasquatch mind powers again.
DeleteGhost hunting shows always rely on a camera man who is of course filming the "stars" and never catches what "stars" see. There is no reason the "stars" are not wearing a head cam to capture whatever comes into their vision.
ReplyDeletenew anony
"My biscuits are burnin!"
ReplyDeleteThat's what happens when you don't pay attention and read forums.
DeleteScrape the burnt off and put gravy on it that's more important than this story
DeleteAh good ‘ole Nick who pushed his book ‘Three men seeking monsters’ as factual, until he goofed up on a Blog-Talk show which contradicted his fabrications and was then later called out on that, and then back pedalled to save his *cough* credibility.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I’m all ears to see what he has to say. Not!!!
I've read that book. Where did he get called out?
DeleteWhy does every thing that has to do with paranormal including bigfoot have to be filmed at night?
ReplyDeleteBecause its a man in a monkey suit.
ReplyDeleteProve it? I bet it's a monkey suit in a man.
ReplyDeleteYes, I've seen that happen, many hours of surgery to correct it. Not pretty!
DeleteI wish Megan Fox would become interested in saquatch.
ReplyDeleteIn the first "Chasing UFO's" we witness four men and a woman driving to the site of some UFO video while watching said video on a laptop. They interview the witness and then go to the site of the video (which happened to be an alleged crash site) at night and so we see them in the usual night vision green (why would they visit a crash site at night?) where you here them say things like "What the hell is that" before they cut to the commercial only to find out it was a dog toy later. Then they spot a suspicious looking car on a nearby road and decide they're under surveillance by the Feds so they clear out. That was as much as I could stand.
ReplyDeleteHere here - that is one wierd show. Really pushing the limits and bending reality.
DeleteWhy do the researchers on "Chasing UFO's" whisper when they're doing nite time investigating? Are they afraid they're going to scare the alien saucers away??
DeleteI believe I saw Megan Fox at Mucklegrunt's memorial service. It was great.
ReplyDeleteI do believe all the ideas you have introduced to your post.
ReplyDeleteThey are very convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are too quick for novices.
May you please extend them a bit from subsequent time?
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