Friday, September 30, 2016

Hunter Attacked In The Woods By Sasquatch


From Sasquatch Chronicles:

Tonight I speak to a hunter who says his friend was attacked in the woods by a monkey. The gentleman who was attacked is a current law enforcement officer and has declined to come on the show due to his job. His friend was there when it happened and walks us through what happened. The police officer was in his hunting blind when the top of it was ripped off. The witness was kicked and thrown several feet. As he started to get up he turned around and saw this half man half monkey type creature crouched down.

He said the creature had a look of hate in his eyes like he had personally done something to it. As he backed up the creature lunged for him and grabbed him by his leg and started dragging him off, he was able to reach for his small caliber pistol and started shooting it in the shoulder. The creature yelled out and let go. As the other witness came upon his friend he could see this large ape like creature in the trees. He said that after the attack this creature was jumping from tree to tree like a monkey would but it was too large to be a monkey.

The men were able to get back to the cabin and all night long they were screamed at by this strange creature. As the sun came up the creature left and the men left.

32 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. ^ says the unsightly visage is poking out of its nightly piss n` shit pot with as much reverence as the contents.

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    2. ^ thinks 10ft monkeys are running around the woods

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    3. ^ Hahaha hahahaha hahahaha spot on old bean.

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    4. ... And there's height estimates from 40 years worth of track impressions that gives an average height of 7-8 feet tall to an as of yet unclassified bipedal primate.

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    5. ^ all of which have been shown to be hoaxes

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    6. Argh yes... Quite the conspiracy theory! That bears quite a burden in providing substance. Are you sure that someone that thought that chimps are monkeys is up to that?

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  2. Joe is now claiming that large silouettes in the woods, equatest to bigfoot. LOL. They don't exist. Get over it chump.

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    Replies
    1. Big bipedal silhouettes that leave physical evidence, equates to "Bigfoot". "Equatest" being an effort on your part at another word you've learned in the last year or so. The only thing that doesn't exist, is a healthy bit of affection in your life. Get a massage, nerd.

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    2. Do the people that see these big silhouettes also see red lazer beam eyes? Or perhaps a little cloaking?

      There once was a man named Joerg
      He ate all my flagella like borgs
      He slurped them down
      Right over his crown
      And now im gonna pound that forge


      OHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYY JOERGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    3. Unfortunately, at present, there is no reliable scientific evidence for "lazer beam eyes" or "cloaking". All that focus however, is a bit pointless when the creature you're trying to sensationalise is already being shown to exist by what can be measured by science.

      How many on the magic airforce base today?

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    4. "I don't know of anyone on bigfoot evidence who endorses things like cloaking, mindspeak, lazer beam eyes, and zapping"..... Joerg


      AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
    5. Argh right... Your BFE accomplishments summed up in one sentence. Well done, you're doing your theory group real proud.

      So how many on the airforce base today?

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    6. "The bionic bigfoot was the best that special effects could produce at the time"......Joerg

      "If you can't prove bigfoot doesn't exist, then it must exist"....Joerg

      "Anyone who doesn't believe in aliens should be shot".......Joerg


      AHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
    7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    8. AC (its just too dang easy)collins. HAS AND ALLWAYS WILL BE THE TRUE "PREZ"!! OF DA SUPERFRIENDS ,,,YO!!

      HAA HAAA HAAAAA LOL!

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    9. Here's the Bionic Man stuff not just put to bed, but put six feet under;
      http://bigfootevidence.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/have-you-seen-this-funny-meme-about.html?m=0

      Science must be tested. If once tested it stands up and is shown to be repeatable, then it's solid evidence. If you are critical of the evidence then you bear the burden of proof to demonstrate just how. It's very, very basic stuff. Unfortunately, you have the intelligence of a toad, so nobody ever expects you to achieve anything of the sort.

      And someone so openly racist and perverse suddenly has an issue with black humour? You do realise that based on this little personality you've moulded for yourself, that nobody in their right minds would leave you to look after children, right?

      How many on the magic airforce base today?

      Delete
    10. AC...

      "There are seven extant species of great apes: two in the orangutans (genus Pongo), two in the gorillas (genus Gorilla), two in the chimpanzees (genus Pan), and a single extant species, Homo sapiens, of modern humans (genus Homo)."
      Ape - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

      Please tell the Joerg troll all about your "paranormal Bigfoot". I'd love to see the craziest trolls around here exchanging ideas.

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    11. Anyway... I'm satisfied I've contributed to both your bat **** crazy hate campaigns that little bit extra. I'll be back in a couple of hours to respond to any drivel that's left here. And rest assured I'll be around tomorrow to mind bend you some more.

      Laters, nerds.

      Delete
    12. NOW,NOW,iKTOMI!! WHAT HATE BRUV??

      IT'S JUST MY RIGHTEOUS MISSION TO EDUCATE A TROLL (just like you "BRUV")!!!
      HAAA HAAA HAA LOL!

      Delete
    13. With grammar like that, you ain't got much hope in educating a goat, mate.

      Delete
    14. AnonymousSaturday, October 1, 2016 at 3:15:00 AM PDT
      ^ says the unsightly visage is poking out of its nightly piss n` shit pot with as much reverence as the contents.



      No, that's irony.

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    15. ^ Oh you poor deluded man...truly you are such a desperate man - hahahaha

      hahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahaha AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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    16. That's your comeback and I'm desperate? Come on sausage fingers, you're all out of ideas!

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    17. ^ Desperately clinging to his deluded self image - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      Delete
    18. "Great apes include chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, bonobos and humans. There are several differences between great apes and monkeys. Great apes don't have tails, while most monkeys do. Apes generally have larger bodies and bigger brains than monkeys."

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  3. So the guys buddies don't have guns? And I highly doubt you would shoot it in the shoulder, you would unload that clip as fast as humanly possible!
    Another BS story!

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  4. Speaking of chimps, the CGIed version seems to be the goto thing around here lately when they need a picture for a bigfoot article. I assume it's due to the lack of the real thing?

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