Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Dr. Melba Ketchum Declared Bigfoot Champion


After many months of deliberation at an undisclosed location outside of Pittsburgh, a team of professional cryptozoologists working for the Crypo Blast media channel on youtube have confirmed that Dr. Melba Ketchum is the official Bigfoot Champion. Ketchum is responsible for being the first scientist to successfully sequence sasquatch DNA, thus proving once and for all that bigoot does actually exist, as reported by the Denovo Juornal. Which happens to be owned and authored by Dr. Melba Ketchum. No relation.


72 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. And AC(our perception of reality is skewed) collins!!

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    2. The true-believer syndrome merits study by science. What is it that compels a person, past all reason, to believe the unbelievable. How can an otherwise sane individual become so enamored of a fantasy, an imposture, that even after it's exposed in the bright light of day he still clings to it--indeed, clings to it all the harder? --M. Lamar Keene

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    3. ^ believe what unbelievable?

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    4. mind your rear bigfoot student - the creep is sloping his very small penis in your direction.

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    5. To believe the unbelievable... Like believing that for thousands of years, there has been a culture hopping secret society of gorilla suit wearing conspirators all out to fool people. These people, though finding each others customs undesirable, and spanning from a time when they didn't even know what an ape looked like, have in fact managed to cheat the best experts with fake biological species traits that span decades and States, in lottery win fashion too.

      To believe the unbelievable... Like believing that for thousands of years, people have mistaken bears for something that has hands, feet, a human face, wide shoulders, no ears and walks with a stride.

      To believe the unbelievable... Indeed.

      - Iktomi

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    6. You'd know, King Clinger... What a burden... What a burden.

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    7. ^ knows all about burdens of proof !

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    8. Damn straight... Why do you think I like reminding people like you of it?

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    9. Why, thank you, Iktomi, for dedicating that FIRST to me!

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    10. BFS, that is not the only thing that Iktomi would like to "dedicate" to you, if you understand my meaning!

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    11. StevenSpewfarts, MitchellWilson& poopstaineJamie Wayne are the biggest hoaxers in bigfooting

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    12. fer shure whun we kilt 1 of tham thar Bigfeets critters yall cans gits thtat thar d and a wes jist wantin da hide

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    13. You don't have to believe in this nonsense about mistaking bears and gorilla suit wearing hoaxers. All you need to understand is that people lie.

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    14. sometimes bigfoots look like dawgman and dawgman looking like bears and bear looking like bigfoots ...

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    15. Thats a whole lot of lying... An impossible amount even.

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    16. Emails on Hillary Clinton's secret server matched top secret documents virtually word for word and included details of CIA drone strikes against Islamic radicals.....
      NO WAY ...

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    17. Kelly Shaw is the biggest hoaxer in Bigfooting.

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  2. Its okay folks her study was backed up by a video of a bloke in a wookie costume. Champion!!

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    1. I like Dr Melba and i think she's on to some thing and this is brilliant xx

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjn1sNUnGyY

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    2. THE GREAT AC COLLINS FOR PRESIDENT OF THE SUPER FRIENDS VOTE EARLY AND OFTEN!!!!!!!!

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    3. too late - TRUMP did it....

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  3. Replies
    1. Keep up the good work dmaker. Reading the ISF is side splittingly hilarious stuff. Absolute destruction of PJ and his fantasies.

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    2. How close is he to proving "Bigfoot" doesn't exist?

      Oops!

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    3. ^ sitting in a broken chair in the vest and underpants he sleeps in (hasn`t felt a need to change them for months)

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    4. ^ along with the farts and scratching

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    5. THE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AC COLLINS NOW HAS COMMITMENTS OF SUPPORT FROM EVA, RUFF, CHICK, AND UNO! YOUR SUPPORT WILL BE MUCH APPRECIATED AS WELL! AC COLLINS FOR PRESIDENT OF THE SUPER FRIENDS!!!!!!!!

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    6. is Dennys your go to place when you want to binge after getting destroyed on here Dmaker ?
      Go easy on the fries big boy

      Joe

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    7. I don't believe we have Denny's in Canada.

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    8. Denny's is where the BIGFOOTS do their dumpster diving for vittles

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  4. Joe doesnt get that everyone else is role playing! He actually believes it!! Haha!

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    1. You don't play the role of "confident sceptic" too well, having to reinforce your religion daily.

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    2. ^ plain wanker - no frills or baubles,just out and out plain and boring wanker .

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    3. When it comes to Iktomi, between the ball scars and the crooked teeth it is pretty clear what when on during his past.

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    4. "Statistics suggest that, taken on pure oral health rather than appearance, the UK does better than the US. According to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development's (OECD) figures, the average number of missing or filled teeth for a 12-year-old in the UK in 2008 (the latest figures available) was 0.7. This was the joint best rating that year. The last figure reported by the OECD for the US, in 2004, was 1.3 - when the UK also got 0.7."
      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32883893

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    5. STATISTICS ALSO SUGGEST THAT THE MAGNIFICENT AC COLLINS IS LEADING IN THE RACE TO BECOME THE PRESIDENT OF THE SUPER FRIENDS! A NEW DAY HAS DAWNED!

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    6. EVA, THE MARVELOUS AND STUPENDOUS AC COLLINS (AKA "LEADING CANDIDATE TO BECOME PRESIDENT OF THE SUPER FRIENDS") HAS INFORMED ME THAT THE STATISTICS ARE BASED UPON COMPLICATED MATHEMATICAL MODELS WHICH FACTOR IN VARIOUS DEMOGRAPHIC AND GEOGRAPHICAL DATA AND INFORMATION AMONG THE POPULATION OF LIKELY VOTERS IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION. THE CONCLUSION OF THOSE SOPHISTICATED CALCULATIONS IS THAT AC COLLINS NOW HAS AN INCREDIBLE 99.999% CHANCE OF WINNING THE ELECTION AND BECOMING PRESIDENT OF THE SUPER FRIENDS!

      I HOPE THAT SUFFICIENTLY ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION EVA AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!

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    7. lol thanks that cleared that up for me xx

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    8. Hey lard ass, why you always wearing that leather jacket

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    9. Cause bieng a queer is lots of hella arce streched BUNFUN.

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  5. No comment from joe about dr johnsons statement that bigfoot is not a flesh and blood creature?

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    1. ^^ watch the whole video you retard

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    2. THE NOBLE AND MAGNANIMOUS AC COLLINS (ALSO THE LEADING CANDIDATE TO BECOME PRESIDENT OF THE SUPER FRIENDS) HAS NO OPINION ON THIS ISSUE AT THIS PARTICULAR TIME!!!!

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  6. Melba is my bigfoot champion all the way !
    Three cheers for Melba !
    Hip, hip hooray !
    The haters on here remind me on ants at a picnic . Just tiny nuisances with not much else to contribute

    Joe

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  7. A.C. , RUFF, UNO, AND RICTOR ALL GO FOR A BIKE RIDE--------

    ONLY ---- ONE ------ BIKE IS NEEDED!

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    1. DONT YOU MEAN , NO BIKE SEAT IS NEEDED ??
      THERE TK??

      Haa haa lol! AC collins :-))

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  8. And you people wonder why bigfoot "research" is a joke to real science?

    This is why.

    Ketchum didn't sequence bigfoot DNA. She only managed to sequence human contamination. She only proved she's not a scientist. She's as big a fraud as Bullshit Biscardi, Todd the Fraud Standing, and Dyer the Liar, except they're smart enough to know they're frauds.

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    1. This is what Melba would day to you;
      http://bigfootblogger.com/dr-melba-ketchum-how-we-proved-there-was-no-contamination-in-the-sasquatch-genome-project-samples/

      ... And regardless of Melba, please don't pretend like you understand what's real and not real in science. The joke is you dodging the scienific evidence that can be listed like the plague.

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    2. Oh please. She's full of crap.

      She refuses to release her raw data for review. She refuses to allow access to the samples to real scientists. She refuses to even return the samples back to their owners so they can send them to competent and honest researchers. She can't get a single real journal to accept her results, and rightly so with everything above, so she invents a "peer reviewed journal" whole cloth to be her scientific circle jerk.

      She is not a scientist. She's just another fraud and hoaxer, and once again, just like you all swooned over Biscardi's bullshit, just like you all celebrated Dyers lies, you bigfoot "research" fools are falling for this fraud as well.

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    3. ^ i don't see a DR in front of your name so i'm assuming you aren't one so you have no scientific background mr anonymous . even Dr Pepper or Dre have more knowledge of science than you do. Now go play your call of duty and leave us alone

      Joe

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    4. A second round of testing should settle it really then, shouldn't it?

      Nobody believed Biscardi. Nobody believed Dyer... In fact, with the exception of a very small amount of people, it was enthusiasts that called it all out from the very most earliest stages of each hoax. Wishing scenarios of alleged belief on people is pretty self evident of how you go about things.

      You've been given the science of things.

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    5. > i don't see a DR in front of your name so i'm assuming you aren't one so you have no scientific background mr anonymous
      Hehehe. If you only knew.

      > You've been given the science of things.
      Hah. No. I've been given a lot of blather and bullshit and ridiculous insistence that thing like a fully human skull somehow counts as "proof of bigfoot".

      If there were anything to Ketchum's "work" (or your "evidence" for that matter) then Current Anthro or American Anthro or the AJA or any number of proper, peer reviewed journals would be all over it. Because actual proof of bigfoot would be the greatest revolutionary anthropological discovery of all time, bar none.

      But they aren't.

      Instead bigfoot "research" has to crow about frauds and hucksters mucking about with rubber suits and ginning up their own publications in a pathetic effort to apply a veneer of legitimacy to their hokum.

      It must frustrate you to no end that you think you have all this "evidence", but at the end of the day real science agrees with me, not you.

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    6. The really hilarious thing is that these rubes didn't seem to understand that the original post is parodying poor Melba!

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    7. 5:26... I keep reading a lot of "if only you knew", from you... Put it like this, you can't be in too much of a position of academic authority considering you fumble scienific theory so comprehensively, and considering this, your "Mr Anomymous" sentiment is slightly audacious. I'm an astronaut on my days off. See how easy that was? And if I was trying to be remotely convincing of that, I'd have better arguments in line with the intelligence required to be qualified at that level.

      For example... You've been given scienific evidence, repeatable scientific evidence that has been verified by multiple impartial scientists, and you dodge it like some chronic denialist with a perverse level of rhetorics. It's really strange behaviour to see you time and time again, look stupid by having evidence that stands up rammed down your throat, evidence you cannot even begin to explain away and you come back inisiting there is none. It's quite an education on denialism, you come across like you're trying to convince someone sooooooo badly. It's funny.

      And why do you invest so much faith in the peer review process?? Surely this is a contradiction on your part, considering there are examples of it being manipulated to lie to the scientific community? Surely this whole process should be thrown out and never be considered reliable, right?

      "Leading academic journals are distorting the scientific process and represent a "tyranny" that must be broken, according to a Nobel prize winner who has declared a boycott on the publications. Randy Schekman, a US biologist who won the Nobel prize in physiology or medicine this year and receives his prize in Stockholm on Tuesday, said his lab would no longer send research papers to the top-tier journals, Nature, Cell and Science. Schekman said pressure to publish in "luxury" journals encouraged researchers to cut corners and pursue trendy fields of science instead of doing more important work. The problem was exacerbated, he said, by editors who were not active scientists but professionals who favoured studies that were likely to make a splash."
      https://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/dec/09/nobel-winner-boycott-science-journals

      ... If you didn't know, Nature accepted Melba's "shoddy science", but pulled out of publishing literally at the last minute. Oh, and here's an actual paper on how poor the peer retire process is;
      http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1420798/

      ... Oh, and as any scientist knows, science is not a freethinking entity, it is a tool to look at data, to which has been used to verify physical and biolgical evidence that down-and-outs like you so amusingly fumble for all your alleged "credentials". If I was remotely frustrated, I would be over on pseudosceptical blogs reinforcing my belief system religiously. Telling about you really, eh?

      A second round of testing should put the Melba situation to bed.

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    8. > considering you fumble scienific theory so comprehensively

      Um. No. That would be you.

      Taking wild conjecture and speculation and misinterpretation and calling it a theory like you do is not scientific.

      Why am I not surprised that you try to weasel out with that tired old "conspiracy of academia" line of crap. And your little conspiracy theory is not even self consistent. You quoted the Guardian: "The problem was exacerbated, he said, by editors who were not active scientists but professionals who favoured studies that were likely to make a splash." (Especially amusing when the Guardian of all things makes that complaint.) Well actual proof of bigfoot would be absolutely guaranteed to make a gigantic "splash". So according to your argument, Ketchum's results would have been eagerly accepted for publication. And as it turns out, and you admit, it was jumped at by Nature initially. But Nature jumped right out again after they got a look at what she actually had. Publishing it would have harmed its credibility irrevocably.

      Ketchum's "work" wasn't rejected by Nature because of some great dark conspiracy of academia like you seem to think in that crackpot conspiracy theory riddled brain of yours.

      It was rejected because it's complete and utter crap. Sloppy and dishonest. Just like 99.99999% of all bigfoot "research".

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    10. "No. That would be you.
      Taking wild conjecture and speculation and misinterpretation and calling it a theory like you do is not scientific."
      That type of schoolyard "I'm not, you are" is slightly cringey, especially for someone so keen to portray himself as clever, and there's more enough evidence to show that you don't understand the requirements of falsifiable evidence, repeatable evidence, as well as readily attempting to suppress evidence you haven't got the brains to understand, let alone try and explain away. Time and time again you refuse to be accountable for your baseless claims against the evidence I list, yet it's everyone else's conjecture. Spoiled brat.

      No, there is no conspiracy, only a flawed process. And whilst you adhere to things being thrown out because they have been shown to be manipulated, then so you should throw the peer review process out too. Don't take it from me, don't pathetically blame the Guardian, take it straight from a Nobel Winner. And here's the conclusion on that paper I sourced you;
      "CONCLUSION
      So peer review is a flawed process, full of easily identified defects with little evidence that it works. Nevertheless, it is likely to remain central to science and journals because there is no obvious alternative, and scientists and editors have a continuing belief in peer review. How odd that science should be rooted in belief."
      http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1420798/
      ... That's your beloved peer review process in pieces. And that's just one source of many. Why would anyone expect real science to come from that process? And no... You missed the boat, probably because you're a dishonest try-hard. The fact that Nature were going to take on, according to you, such "bad science" says it all. Take a look at this;
      "Journal Accepts Paper Reading “Get Me Off Your F*****g Mailing List”
      (Link will be provided in a separate comment below due to the swear word being whited out)

      That's your peer reviewed, journal science right there. 99% of enthusiasts didn't remotely believe a thing that Melba said or did... And as much as you NEED people to be percieved otherwise, it's merely a deflection from a deeper problem you have in addressing what you simply haven't the b*lls to, and that's the evidence. Using quotation marks doesn't get around to accomplishing much. And like I said earlier... A second round of testing, which is what is allegedly happening, should put it all to bed.

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    11. http://www.iflscience.com/technology/journal-accepts-paper-reading-get-me-your-fucking-mailing-list

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  9. One of the 3 individual Sasquatches all of which were verified by 11 blind-testing labs, had to SIGN the release of his or her DNA because they are human as also verified in an independent study...but the powerful forces that be and their many layers of protection would not allow the DNA to be accepted through the "official" Genbank data base AND would not accept publication of Melba's data. Many of these powerful individuals direct their orders to others on this site OR run this site....

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    1. Melba is a fraud and you are a fuctard!

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    2. A second round of testing will resolve it... And happening by all accounts.

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