Bigfoot Romance: Squatch, Onions, and Love is in the Air

When out looking for the mysterious beast in the woods known as bigfoot, not everyone is lucky enough to find one. But for some they find something even more special. Here's a true story about a young couple who went looking for bigfoot, but found love instead.

"It took months, but finally Henry asked me out on a Bigfoot-hunting date. I wanted to know what, exactly, one did when looking for a creature that might not exist–but I also wanted to be alone with Henry. If I was too young to think about love, I certainly was old enough to consider desire. I wanted to be admired, pursued, studied by him. Like Sasquatch, only sexy.

Not long after that, Henry picked me up and we headed for Salt Fork State Park, Ohio, to meet other serious Bigfoot hunters. As it turned out, I was a terrible Bigfoot hunter. I began to wheeze as we hiked up the steep hillsides. My shorts began to ride up indelicately; I amended my stomping to a demure waddle. When I glanced behind me, Henry’s gaze was chastely downcast. The group delved into long discussions of recent reported sightings; stories of jokers in gorilla suits; the questionable reliability of audio clips. Occasionally, one of the team stopped, cupped his hands to his mouth, and uttered a long, haunting bellow that echoed across the countryside. We all would freeze, and listen."

To find out how this budding relationship turned out, click here.