Olympia Beer Company Posts $1 Million Reward For "Safe" Capture of Bigfoot, Hoaxing a Body Like Rick Dyer Will Probably Get You Disqualified
The beer company, "Olympia Beer" just posted a $1,000,000 reward for "the safe capture of Bigfoot". That's right -- Read that again: The "safe capture of Bigfoot". This means the Bigfoot has to be alive; with no wounds or anything like that. For those researchers who have already dropped out of the Spike TV casting call, you may want to take this challenge as an opportunity to prove yourself. Here's what the website posted on Tuesday:
Olympia Beer and Bigfoot have been leaving footprints together in the Pacific Northwest since 1896.
We have been sharing the same backyard for over a century and we believe it’s time to do what has never been done, and that is to offer a one million dollar reward to anyone who can ensure the safe capture of Bigfoot. When we say safe capture that means Bigfoot has to be alive and breathing folks, with no wounds. That’s right you can’t use any act of violence, no guns/knives/boxing gloves/nets/etc, only sugar or sweets to lure him in.
You must register to participate in the search. To report your discovery of irrefutable evidence of the existence of Bigfoot, click on the "Submit Capture Report" link on the left and follow the instructions to report your evidence. You participation in the search is subject to the complete Official Rules.
To aid us in this adventure, Olympia Beer is partnering with The Falcon Project
The Falcon Project has been identified as “the most penetrative search for Bigfoot ever conducted in the United States.” They will conduct an aerial search for Sasquatch employing an unmanned airship with high definition thermal imaging camera equipment.
[via Olympia Beer]
First again
ReplyDeletetwo in a row
DeleteNorth Korea has placed along its eastern coastline may have been feints to distract attention from the multiple launches that may be coming.
DeleteI here they have some sort of kim chee warhead.
DeleteSo is that what Dick Cheney ment when he said,"we are in deep doo doo"?
DeleteNorth Koreans all look the same and are a Nerdy looking group. It's hard to ever take them serious because they look like Dorks. Mee Mad! Mee Mad. I want to destroy the earth.....blah blah blah! Marvin the Martian.
DeleteThey look like pussies too. Parachute me in there with a baseball bat and I'd take out a few hundred by myself.
Delete^^^^ hahaha damn that was funny
DeleteThat little fucker ain't gonna launch any missiles towards the US. We'd fuck them up so fast, they wouldn't even know what happened.
DeleteLets train a squad of bigfoots to go there and kick some ass
DeleteDown with earth rapists. Sorry, but Dr Jeff is now In that category. F*ckin sad.
ReplyDeleteYou mad bro ?
DeleteSad that Sas = Money to these f*cks, thx for yr shoulder kind sir
Delete^ so what! It's America and let's make money!!!!
DeleteHuh huh. They wrote "penetrative".
ReplyDeleteDoes tazing a bigfoot count as an act of violence?
ReplyDeleteI need to get a ruling on Roofies?
DeleteSquatch Nuts
It didn't say anything about Drugging the beast, so I think you're good.
DeleteAll I read was "beer" :)
ReplyDeleteI love the way "bigfoot researchers" try to make out that they are better than rick dyer when infact they are 1 in the same. Promoters of mythical creatures.
ReplyDeleteThat's very insulting, Rick Dyer is a liar and he is a known hoaxer. There are many people out there who are genuine researchers, taking their time to look for Sasquatch. The real ones you won't find on Animal Planet or flashing stacks of cash on their shitty Internet shows.
DeleteDoes this mean that the body Dyer sold me won't count?
DeleteI sure everyone would appreciate Timothy Holmes and his shotgun blasting away at everything that moves.
ReplyDeleteBastard. I was gonna lure him out with a pair of boxing gloves.... Oh well.
ReplyDeleteBeer, Bigfoot, and $$$$! I love life!!!!
ReplyDeleteBeer, Boxing, and Bigfeet hairy Patty tits, will I need my parents to sign a release form?
DeleteS N
With the Billy Bob teeth Dyer described on his animal can I set up a meth lab in the woods without being prosicuted for bait?
DeleteS N
I love me some hairy ass titties.
DeleteAnyone else read "beer"!!!!!!! Damit!
ReplyDeleteI believe the firsters are all insomniacs that never sleep. Respect to the firsters!
ReplyDeleteWith one major difference 4:33 none of the other people out there trying to get evidence of a Sasquatch would stoop to the depths that Dyer has proven himself time and again as willing to go
ReplyDeleteDyer is a sociopathic lying hoaxer.
DeleteTrue dat.True dat.
Deletethe reason that the firsters don't sleep 5:31 is because they are all scaredy cats shaking with the covers pulled up over their heads in fear that there might be some big, hairy, boogie man outside their bedroom windows
ReplyDeleteHow dare you
DeleteThat describes everyone, save people like you, who is not brave or smart enough to believe giant monkey men live in America....jackass...
DeleteToo hard to catch a live one beer guys. Why bother with all the trouble of bringing in a live one for only 1 mil. when you can just bring the dead body to Spike tv an get 10 mil. Come on beer guys think. You really have to do better here!
ReplyDeleteSpike's offer is only for the contestants; unless you are on the show you have to settle for the million....
DeleteI guess a body would get you a contestant pass real quick though.
Deletelol...good point..
DeleteI need to confess my sins to Micheal Merchant the Pope of bigfooting. Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have gotten mud on my helmet from many women, many times.
ReplyDeleteTMI dude.
DeleteGo to the clinic and get your shit checked out bro, I'm worried for ya.
DeleteAnd so it begins. Hypothetically speaking, bigfoot exists. The first one is captured for a reward of one million. Suddenly the world knows they are real. Then another corporation decides it wants a bigfoot. Then some wealthy private collector, then another. Then some guy in China will pay a million to eat some bigfoot testicles.
ReplyDeleteIf they exist and their existence becomes an accepted fact, then money will start rolling for their capture, dead or alive. Suddenly thousands of people will be in the woods hunting for them. Bigfoot, meet the black rhino.
ps. how the f*** are you supposed to capture a bigfoot without using a net?
DeleteYou mind rape the shit out of them.They will light up a cigarette and then you drag them into a box.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
DeleteWould using my stick and some rough talk be too violent? I would never kill one they look too precious. They have beautiful hair. I would just say GIT! GIT! GIT AWAY FROM HERE! And push him with my stick until he was safely returned.
ReplyDeleteOlympia Beer taste like piss.
ReplyDeleteBOYCOTT them for this stupid-ass, desperate and cheap publicity stunt
We actually emptied your beer and pissed in it.
DeleteI've never drank piss. You take yours from a glass, or straight from the tap?
DeleteI only drink piss while having sex.
DeleteThat's funny, but gross.
DeleteExcellent post. I used to be checking constantly this blog and I am inspired!
ReplyDeleteExtremely useful information particularly the closing section
:) I care for such information a lot. I was looking for this particular info for
a long time. Thank you and good luck.
Review my webpage ... http://vincentgolden321.iloveblog.com
^Virus laden link!
DeleteSo's yer momma.
DeleteHow dare you.
DeleteA Captured Bigfoot is worth more than I million...even spike has 10M on it....bad advertising ploy
ReplyDeleteI love the asterisk after $1,000,000.
ReplyDeleteThe meeting room erupted in uncontrollable laughter when the idea was cooked up, but some dork in accounting still insisted they have an actual payout clause.
You need $10,000,000 to build a 50,000 volt electrified holding cell with tight wire mesh embedded in walls, floors and ceiling, that is disguised as an underground section of tunnel, with closeable electified doors. After maybe 10 years, when the Bigfoot becomes accustomed to this structure and walks inside after materilizing underground in the tunnel, then you turn on the voltage and slam the doors shut. You then need to keep it fed and alive until Olympia Beer people show up. You may have to sedate the Bigfoot to keep it from going invisible, or changing phases and flying through the walls in another dimension. You would have had to have people manning this trap for those 10 years, round the clock, from a command post at least 5 miles away. Otherwise, the Bigfoot would telepathically figure out how this all works and simply avoid the area. Piece of cake.
ReplyDeleteOr have the tunnel lead into a cryogenic chamber where you could freeze the bigfoot and then easily transport it to Olympic beer headquarters. Although the technology for this endeavor is still in its infantcy and would lead to the bigfoot dying and therefore you get nothing and like it.
DeleteOr how about just building a faraday cage considering it stops electromagnetism and dimension hopping.
DeleteWe all Wondered where Darkwing Duck got to.
DeletePlease sign my 'Hang a Hoaxer' petition.
MMG
Hey there! Quick question that's totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when browsing from my iphone4. I'm trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct
ReplyDeletethis problem. If you have any recommendations, please share.
Cheers!
Feel free to visit my homepage - http://kevinbryson221.fotopages.com
I'm sure this is just a joke, they can't sell their shitty beer so they know this will get picked up by all the news networks and bam!! Free publicity.
ReplyDeleteWhen is that Spike TV show coming out? Anyone know?
I think they factored in how much beer Bobo alone will buy in a year when his weed connection is out of town.
DeleteI went to high school 3 blocks from their brewery. I got out of rehab 9 months ago.
ReplyDelete