Dr. Matthew Johnson: Relax Chicken Little, The Sky Isn't Falling [Ketchum Report]


Thanks to Steven Streufert of "Coalition for Reason, Science, Sanity in Bigfoot Research" for reposting this statement issued by Matthew A Johnson yesterday morning regarding Dr. Melba Ketchum's Bigfoot DNA study:

The Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Forest People are NOT in danger as a result of Dr Melba Ketchum's five year DNA Study. The U.S. Forest Service conducted a research study less than 10 years ago and found that less than 5% of the American population ventures any farther than 50 feet off of any forest logging road or hiking path. Most Americans camp in County, State, and National campgrounds. Most Americans are afraid of bear, cougar, coyotes, wolves, etc. If you add an 8 to 9 foot upright walking hominid into the mix, most Americans definitely won't go into the woods. Some hunters will stop going into the woods too.

Just because the Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Forest People are officially identified as an existing species will NOT make them any less elusive than they already are. Finally, if we offered $10,000,000 for a hunter to bring back a Bigfoot body.... guess what? They won't be collecting the money because if they try to kill a Bigfoot, the Bigfoot family will kill them. They will protect themselves.

The Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Forest People are fine. Nothing changes. Besides, most Americans believe in Bigfoot anyway and that hasn't caused them to go into the forest to hunt Bigfoot. The only thing that Dr Melba Ketchum's five year DNA Study changes is that Myth and Legend has now become a fact. That's it! Nothing more and nothing less! The Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Forest People are fine. Relax, Chicken Little!!! The sky is NOT falling!!!"

Dr Matthew A Johnson

Comments

  1. And what about Smedja case (obviously, If it's real) ?

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    Replies
    1. What of it? he shot and killed two animals that aren't supposed to exist.he might as well have killed the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny.

      Delete
    2. Kill the Easter bunny eh? How would I get in touch with this Smeja fella?

      -The Cadbury Bunny

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    3. Just leave a case of cheap beer and a old guitar on your front porch..he will pay u a visit.

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    4. You mean Smeja killed two forest people.

      Delete
  2. Skeptic in Fluorescent Pink PantiesSunday, November 25, 2012 at 6:36:00 PM PST

    There's no such thing as bigfoot.

    I think bigfoot's a man in a suit.

    Wait a second, those two statements contradict one another!

    If there's no such thing, it can't be a man in a suit, because there is no "it" for "it" to be.

    Wow.

    If there's no such thing, then there is no man in a suit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nicely stated, Dr. Johnson.

    ReplyDelete
  4. In 2011 I visited the Pacific Northwest for the first time. I stayed in Packwood Washington, which is very close to Mt. Ranier. Unless you go there yourself, you may not be able to grasp how vast the wilderness is in that part of the country. The woods around there are so large and dense that I can believe that an undetected animal could live there. Virtually no one goes into those woods, as the article state, aside from the trails and roads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree 100%. I live in Washington State and unless you've experienced the vastness of the wilderness for yourself first hand you don't get the whole picture. Plenty of room and plenty of food.

      Delete
    2. Now imagine that wilderness as it stretches from Northern California to Northern Alaska and is as wide as from the Pacific to east of the Cascades and the Coast Range of British Columbia. Then hop over to the Rockies and do it again all the way from Northern Canada and down through Montana and Idaho, Wyoming and Utah, Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona.
      Immense.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Maybe you clowns didn't read the above article and the USFS statement that less than 5% of the population goes more than 50 feet off the trail.
      Makes it tough for a body to be found.

      Delete
  6. This big deuchebag is a cryin FRAUD, just ask his ex-wife.He is pathetic and a poor excuse for his fake profession.

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    Replies
    1. Is this the guy who said on the radio that he had some type of mind meld with bigfoot during his sighting?

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    2. ^ Last whispers from the dying breed of Bigfoot cynics.

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    3. Supposedly he said that he had a mental connection with the bigfoot he saw.

      The crying and blubbering he does and the mental connection angle haven't helped the credibility of his sighting story.

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  7. Why do I keep reading it this way? The $10 mil. bounty is an insurance payout for the contestants appearing on the Fox Show. I doubt this monitary offer is for evryone public & thier brother..."Have Fun Claiming"

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  8. So what he is saying is only 17.5 million people or 5% of the population go 50ft off trails in paths. Thats still a lot of people.

    Hunters wont care at all, the ones that have seen a BF still hunt.
    His statement about a Bigfoot family killing a guy who shoots one for $10 mill is fucking dumb. First off you make that $10mill availabile to everyone and you will have groups of armed people in the woods with enough firepower to take out a group of them. Secondly Smeja is alive and his steak is the crown jewel if this study, so he must be telling the truth if you believe this paper

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    Replies
    1. Yeah...all the Loony doomsday prophesy preachers that claim the bigfoots gonna get you if you go shootin at em, must be suckin on shrooms! Obviously Justin is still kickin it. When the bigfoots circled around and about pounced on him, He just reloaded. END OF ATTACK!

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    2. Lol! That was pretty funny. With a simple .45 you could take out a family without a worry. Hell get some bear spray.....take one out, start shooting, reload, kill more. If they charge while your reloading use the spray. Pretty easy.

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    3. Funny if you're a retard yes otherwise no.

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    4. thats 5% of the population that bothers to go into the woods,not of the entire US population

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  9. that is sooooo fucked up! but TRUE!

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  10. Replies
    1. ^^^ dumb fuck!!! Alrighty Then were is your proof the films fake ? Because its 2012 and yet NOBODY can duplicate the "suit" and yet oh it must be a hoax because you say it is ? Ok you must be a fucking rocket scientist !!!!

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    2. ^^^^
      The president of NAMBLA.

      Delete
  11. You are ALL smoking POT. Pass the Doritos

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yeah you all, Todd Standing warned all of you about trying to kill a Bigfoot, like above has mentioned, you will take your last breath.

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    Replies
    1. Well, you know, things that aren't real are notoriously difficult to kill.

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    2. Ha! Ha! Listening to you retarded footers argue about the ethics or plausibility of killing the magic ape is like listening to ghost hunters argue about whether or not it's rude to fart in front of a ghost. That shit's fucking hysterical.

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    3. Gotta love these denying swines of this ever dwindling race of kooky trolls, they can't stop commenting on their magic ape subject so who's the loony. You. LOL PS they're not apes they're positively hominin.

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    4. ^^^^
      You're positively gay. Oh, and "kooky trolls" are not a race you stupid shit.

      Delete
  13. Believable guy when I first heard him (maybe an A&E special?) many years ago. Southern Oregon case.

    Since that time, I think he had a massive head injury and it shows.

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  14. 10,000,000 is a lot of money. Someone would get one for that price and since no one can, it means there is nothing to get.
    What I have begun to suspect is that the bigfoot industry is just that, a money making industry based on myth.
    Many are willing to make up stories for 15 minutes of fame and the videos and photos are all blurred and show nothing concrete.
    Would be nice to see something not blurry.
    I used to look when I was a youngster but not possible anymore.

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  15. The ketchum paper doesn't affect anything, we still need a carcass to back it up...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No we don't no box is needed, see the reason for that is it'd be murder therefore proof via DNA's only the start then comes more research.

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  16. pretty real statement,people dont go off the beaten path and are afraid of there shadows in the woods.And killing bigfoot would be dangerous since they are very rarely alone and it would be ugly with out support.Dogs and stationary shooters and of coarse the crazy bastard it will take to go drag it to safety.some day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Won't happen that way either because it's called homicide, baby.

      Delete

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