Texas Sasquatch Hunting Permit 2012-2014 [WTF]
According to John Lloyd Scharf's email exchange last May with Texas Wildlife chief of staff, Lt. David Sinclair, "non-protected, nongame animal may be hunted on private property with landowner consent by any means".
Even though Sinclair didn't mention Bigfoot at all in his email, some people took the "straight description of the law" literally, and believed that it was legal to hunt Bigfoot. After he publicly cleared up Sharf's misinterpretation of the law in a FoxNews.com article, Bigfoot was safe again... until now.
On Ebay, a hunting permit sticker is currently selling for $3.97 and it has the description, "SASQUATCH HUNTING PERMIT TEXAS 2012-2014". So far, one has been sold, and there's 3 left in stock. The sticker is about 4" wide x 3" tall, and it's made from the highest quality vinyl.
"Easy Installation. Apply them to your Car, Truck, Boat, Motorcycle, Snowmobile, Sled, PS3, Xbox, Laptop, Zombie Assault Vehicle."Don't believe us? Check out this link: http://www.ebay.com/itm/110964987046
There should be a pic of Smeja on it giving a smiling, double thumbs up.
ReplyDeleteA sasquatch burnt his mouth on some pizza and corn while reading this. Matt moneymaker was throwing dice in the corner, bobo was doing backflips off a skyscraper somewhere in New Zealand. Melba was too busy hammering an egg to a fence with a sharp nail intended for Dr. Kiplitschko's science fair project. Milk was the primary drink of choice among the study group that night.
ReplyDeleteGuess what? This is not a legal document, it counts as a forgery. Attempt to use it in your defense should you shoot a Bigfoot in Texas and you will STILL be in violation of the law, you shall be subject to a fine and/or imprisonment as determined by the judge. I have been informed that the state of Texas does not and will not issue actual legal permits to hunt Bigfoot and the stickers are a scam.
ReplyDeletethanks for clearing that up
DeleteAnd as a Texan I can assure you that not only will Texas not issue a hunting permit for a creature which is seen by the overwhelming majority of people as a myth, but we're you to actually bag the first specimen IN TEXAS the would pat you on the back. Were there enough bleeding hearts complaining it might go to court after years of trying to figure out what laws, if any, this could possibly be violating and the Judge would laugh the charges out of court. The defense? " It was coming right for me! " And done.
DeleteAre people just extra dumb in Texas or what? This permit is clearly a provocative joke or the maker of it is clueless as shit, why would a civilized nation like the American stoop itself to the underdeveloped ethical levels of a third world place like Africa and kill other primates? This one is even bipedal and more humanlike than any other, it really says more about ourselves than it ever could the new species. I don't think anyone's ever going to bag one anyway because such a discovery would tip everything over and upside down, it just won't sit well with neither mainstream science (despite faking excitement) or our leaders. We have this infested thing called religion based everywhere and about the get a Mormon in the White House so the reveal of another Homo Sapiens type being would probably mean growing doubt in communities, certain lobbies wouldn't like that and money rules their game so even if some farmer gets a squatch there's his own faith to revaluate and the MIBs helping his memory along if he can't decide. No different from Russia really it's how you keep the homefront peace we may call it something else but without secrecy you can't rule the peasants, us.
DeleteI thought it was pretty clear from the article that this was not legal. Not sure why you felt the need to over-explain it further....
DeleteAre people just extra dumb when posting at 11:22 or what? The answer to that question is a definite YES.
DeleteNO.
DeleteNice sticker, I’m surprised that the money grubbing experts haven’t started selling this crap on the web sites for every state!
ReplyDeleteI would buy one and execute it to the full extent of my Nubian laser rifle; after all to kill an imaginary being you need an imaginary weapon!
Team Tazer should sue for the rip-off of their logo!
ReplyDeleteYeah, but who did THEY rip off to get it?
DeleteAwesome... Just printed them out on the ol laser jet and laminated a dozen to put on some bumpers.. I'd go for selling these online, but I can just print em out myself. they look legit when laminated with packaging tape on sticky back paper from Staples !!!
ReplyDeleteMurder's not legit you'll find out.
DeleteI think I'll go bigfoot hunting in Texas over the winter. I need an excuse to move to a warmer climate.
ReplyDeleteYou're better off joing a circus same thing dummy.
Delete^ witty retort... wait, I meant dumbass retort.
Delete^ Feeling hurt ?
DeleteInteresting article, HOWEVER... I assume murder is still illegal? When you shoot bigfoot and realize it's a type of human, no hunting license will save you.
ReplyDeleteIt's in poor taste, though if you don't believe they are people (or exist) I suppose this is all in good fun. Kind of strikes me as a permit for hunting a particular race of people, though.
ReplyDeleteIt's not so much the ignorance in this country that bothers me, it's the way some revel in it with great enthusiasm and then take pleasure in ridiculing others for not joining in...
^ Ate paint chips as a child.
DeleteAgreed 4:37, it's kinda pathetic how low some permit themselves to sink in weak attempts at levity.
DeleteI don't know about you guys but I just dropped one massive Lloyd and wiped my Scharf.
ReplyDeleteThat feels so much better......whew.
Murder must be committed by a homo sapien sapien upon another homo sapien sapien and you damn well can't "knowingly murder" something that "doesn't even exist". LMFAO, a defense lawyer would win that case sleeping.
ReplyDeleteTexas sucks. Come up to Oregon for the real deal. Skamania County just across the river in WA - laws on the books for years.
ReplyDelete- Russ
^ Thinks rain is the coolest, doesn't realize it's God pissing on his pretentious face.
DeleteYou're very wrong there, imagine Neanderthals were still here killing one of them would be murder too and the squatch is probably a very similar type of hominin, thus none of them are to be regarded animals.
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