Camping: A Bigfoot Habituator's Experience

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Tom Fonner. He has been exploring the backcountry of Arizona for over 30 years. He enjoys the solitude and peace of the outdoors with a passion for wildlife, nature, and landscape photography, tracking, hiking, camping, and fishing. You can visit his blog at swbri.blogspot.com.

This was a solo camping trip deep into the backcountry for a peaceful few days of meditation and relaxation. There was nothing better than the opportunity to feel the cool wind in my face and the sound of my brethren running through the forest leaves. The peace an tranquility would give me time to renew my spirit and purge the evil thoughts that creep into my realm of existence. Everything played out just as planned until I was blessed with a unique and one time experience.

It was late in the afternoon just at dusk when I heard a faint call, a voice, that bled into the background noise of the mounting evening sounds of the wild. At first I was confused at what I was hearing but then I gave into this mysterious event and listened intently. The sound of the voice became clearer and there was a tone of concern with my presence in this lush pine filled valley. My confusion grew as I realized that this experience was not the sounds of the forest but a relentless a yet comforting sound within my mind. It was pleasing and any concerns that I had soon vanished as a misty and unclear dark shadow of a figure soon stood at the edge of a small clearing. I had trouble focusing on this being which stood there in its massive and fierce appearance. It was hard to recognize it at a distance with its blurry grandeur but as it approached I became quite aware of what it was. This was my first encounter with Bigfoot yet a bit of a blurry one. This remarkable creature slowly walked closer and from behind it two others appeared and approached as well.

I was aghast at the event which played out before me. They clearly were concerned of my intentions. My perception became that of an understanding in their ability to be aware of my thoughts and from this point on they no longer were nervous of my presence. This was amusing to me because as they approached I thought I would crap my pants from my own fear. What to do next raced through my mind. I was camping with a small fire, an ice chest full of beer and food with coffee brewing on the camp stove, and a small fabric chair. I stood there for a brief moment looking at them then back at my gear not being sure what to do. The next move was mine so I responded just the same way I would if a friendly stranger had walked into my camp.

I looked at the bigger one and asked if they would like something to drink or eat. It was a remarkable experience when the voice in my mind said drink and food would be nice. They proceeded to sit down near my chair and around the fire. I grabbed a few beers to start the evening and handed them to the three Bigfoot creatures assuming they knew what to do with them. They turned the cans over and side to side sniffing each part like a bunch of stupid dogs. I slowly reached over to show them how to open the cans and popped the top on one can as the big guy held it. The sound and the spray of beer mist scared the hell out of the other two. They jumped back and made an eerie sound while staring right at me. Funniest thing I'd seen in years. Realizing that there was nothing to be afraid of they sat back down. I opened the other cans and they began to try the new drink. Well, after they figured out the hole on the can is where the beer pours out of. After a bit of a mess they figured it out and seemed to enjoy this new found beverage.

Things seemed to be going well so I grabbed a bag of bean burritos from the ice chest and began to hand those out. They seemed to have no problem with these at first. They ate most of them in a manor of pigs in a troth. After quickly downing several they seemed to be a bit annoyed at the taste of the hot sauce which was on each. This led to more beer and I could see that with my new found friends this would be a short trip with the ice chest emptying quickly. Apparently they did not know how to deal with the hot uncomfortable feeling surging through their mouths and my last case of beer soon disappeared.

The consumption of beer and burritos by these massive creatures turned into an evening only comparable to a bunch of drunken football players. Amusing does not even state adequately the sight that I was privileged to observe. The clear sharing of thoughts soon became strange and I could not understand them at all. The evening progressed with a chorus of grunts and strange noises soon follow by the flow of new wind. They stunk when they got here, but this was unbearable. What the hell was I thinking when I fed them burritos. I had to figure something out quick.

Their staggering slowed and they spent more time on their backs grunting and moaning at the moon that hung overhead. I remembered the coffee that I had brewed a few hours before and began feeding it to them with the hope of nursing them back on their feet. By now the smell of these relentless farts were definitely more than I could take. Slowly each of these magnificent creatures managed to regain an upright posture and staggered off into the moonlight. I never saw them again or was privileged to the remarkable sharing of thoughts. The next morning I could hear the sounds of agony in the distance which could only be that of Bigfoot hangovers. I packed my gear and with a renewed spirit returned to my life blessed with my new found friends.