Robert Lindsay's Bigfoot Family Values Shows Bigfoots Have 2.5 Children Per Household


They say the more you think you know about Bigfoot, the less you know. That is, unless you're Robert Lindsay, Facebook Find Bigfoot, or Matt Moneymaker.

We have no idea how Robert would know that Bigfoots divorce or that there's such thing as a promiscuous Bigfoot chick, but considering his track record, he might be onto something:

Some of my personal views on Bigfoot biology. I think Bigfoots live to be about 45-50 yrs old (about 50% of the human lifespan), but that’s just a guess of mine. Cut everything human in half. A Bigfoot walks by age 7 months, talks by 1 yr, mates by age 7-9, dies at age 45-50 and may have perhaps 2-3 offspring in a lifetime.

They mate for life, or at least they try to. They don’t engage in incest – instead they pair-bond. If you believe the Janice Carter story, and I do for the most part, there are some BF single Mom’s out there.

Once they hit adolescence, the Bigfoot teen hotties get knocked up right quick. What red-blooded Bigfoot male could resist such a prime specimen of prehistoric human womanhood? Keep in mind that Bigfoot males don’t watch pornography, so they are not averse to hairy women.

Some Bigfoot teen sexpots seem to get knocked up by some random Bigfoot male who then takes off, and then you have a BF single Mom. It’s just like the ghetto, except it’s the forests of North America instead! The only thing is lack of the grills, rims, Cadillacs and gangster rap in the deep woods.

The males who knock up these females seem to come from somewhere out of the area (seemingly from out of nowhere) to mate with gravid young females.

Apparently sometimes Bigfoots do divorce or separate, and Bigfoot males sometimes try to steal females from other males. This can result in fights over females, which can be brutal and sometimes deadly, but at any rate, don’t last long.

I think Bigfoots live in small family groups of 3-4, a male, a female and 1-2 subadult offspring.

- Robert Lindsay

[via robertlindsay.wordpress.com]

Comments

  1. Lemme 'axe u dis...Howz'a Bigfoot homie suppozed to's finds these Bigfoot sexpot ho's ?

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  2. Bigfoot stole my man on the next Jerry Springer. And they wonder why the majority of people think they are looney.

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  3. Replies
    1. Well the teen female Bigfoot at the Erickson Kentucky habituation, Matilda, got knocked up at one point, but there didn't seem to be any male around afterwards, and I don't think her father did it. They probably have an incest taboo as Albert Ostman was kidnapped by a male BF apparently in order to have a mate for his teen daughter. And the Janice Carter story says there are Bigfoot single moms, single males come from nowhere to mate with young unattached females and stick around or not, Bigfoot couples sometimes separate, young male Bigfoots seem to take off, and males sometimes fight briefly over female Bigfoots.

      The Janice Carter story is controversial to say the least. But for now it serves as a good basis for hypotheses.

      And to a certain extent, a fair amount of this behavior is mirrored in the apes.

      Delete
  4. Actually, it's the majority of people who are the ignorant loonies. But nice bit of Lindsay humor there, next we'll hear they have wedding ceremonies too. And why the hell not. lol Let's just prove they exist at all ok, many of us already know they do, but then we can figure out all that other more private stuff later.

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  5. Robert, they mate by age 7-9? Sounds like the perfect woman for you. John

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  6. OMG! If lawyers ever come to believe, they will be searching the woods for more divorce, custody and alimony/child support cases!!

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  7. Lindsay......diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!

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  8. Oh my god... and people wonder why this field gets ridiculed

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    Replies
    1. Yep! Some people really look intelligent - until they open their mouth!

      Another two articles today from RL - loads of character assasination - all in the name of journalism. Puke!

      Just goes to show the real nature of the fellow.

      Delete
  9. "Bigfoot males don’t watch pornography"

    Stunning research there Dr. Lindsay...

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  10. Hi Shawn,
    I think Lindsay is only guessing, like us all, - based on bears, gorils and other sized things. basically educated guesses. Good entertainment...no? Tim, U.K.

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    Replies
    1. Actually, I am going by habituation reports (especially Janice Carter's) but also the Erickson report from Kentucky, Fahrenbach's biological report and also the Albert Ostman story. Obviously, right now these are all just hypotheses to be tested out in the field and proven or disproven. Truth is we know almost nothing about their biology and the only reports about it are widely ridiculed even in the field (Janice Carter story). Hopefully in the future we can study these thing and learn more about them. I am afraid they are going to be very hard to study Jane Goodall style though.

      Delete
  11. Amazing how he can slip racism and masoginism even into his Bigfoot articles. John

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    Replies
    1. Shaun,
      Why would you print these racist and unfounded comments?

      Apparently Lindsay thinks he can say and act however he wants and other people will quote his hatred onto other blogs. Hate speech much?

      So where does Lindsay live?
      Jeremy J

      Delete
  12. Robert Lindsey YOU ARE INCREDIBLY REDICULOUS..I am no longer from this point on reading any of your rumors, analysis or personal comments on this forum any longer..

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  13. Lindsey you facetious moronic/nobody jackass. Where do you dream up these intensely mundane and infantile theories!!!???

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  14. "AnonymousFeb 27, 2012 01:40 PM
    OMG! If lawyers ever come to believe, they will be searching the woods for more divorce, custody and alimony/child support cases!!"

    Divorce Lawyers? Hell wait till the NAACP sees this lol

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  15. Lindsay you turd gurgling rump stalker you....go play with your hand puppets and watch your pee-wee-herman reruns!!

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  16. It is really sad that RL just throws his own opinion out there based on nothing and calls it good journalism.

    If the guy was a good journalist he wouldn't be a blogger.

    I'd like to see one example of even a medium size media outlet picking up his articles.

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  17. So Damian, does this mean you are back to posting anything and everything? I don't know anything about Robert Lindsay and he doesn't back any of his onfo. up so I can research for myself, to see where he is coming from. I'm not reading anything more that has anything to do with Robert Lindsay. He is incredibly tacky and not even funny! ~LB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This has nothing to do with Damien. What are you talking about?

      Delete
  18. From: Watch Melissa Hovey On Conundrums Explain How She Got The Bigfoot Photo

    "Robert LindsayFeb 26, 2012 08:48 AM
    I absolutely hate this Melissa Hovey witch, but I must say she is pretty good looking."

    From:Robert Lindsay's Breakdown Of Melissa Hovey's Bigfoot Photo

    "Robert LindsayFeb 26, 2012 12:10 PM
    Good God, she's married, and I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole and an 11 foot extension."

    "Robert LindsayFeb 26, 2012 01:20 PM
    Well, it is true that I have fallen for my share of hoaxes all right. We all do. But I've also identified a lot of good photos and videos. I usually do to the experts first like Tom at Crypto News and Facebook Find Bigfoot and see what they think. In general, the jury's pretty much out on this one, which is a good sign. My official position is that this is either real or one of the best hoaxes ever done, on the level of Bill Munns super Hollywood style."

    From: Q&A With Dr. Ketchum: Her Thoughts On The Sasquatch Community, Taking On The DNA Research, And How the Scientific Community May React To Her Findings [Bigfoot DNA]

    "Robert LindsayFeb 25, 2012 10:11 PM
    Nope, my rumor is true all right. Ketchum is speaking in half truths. She is right in a sense, but wrong in another. The Yeti sample was tested and this was the result: no known animal, not human, unknown primate. Not only that, but it's close to Bigfoot. Now whether or not it will be in the study is another matter.

    She's speaking in half truths and not exactly being forthright, but that's been the case forever with this slippery fish of a woman."

    Mr Lindsay,

    I am not going to call you a turd burgler nor will I call you stupid. I do not think you are. I do not attack people, though you seem to do that a lot.

    I actually found this site from your own back when you were reporting leaks from the Erickson Project. Back then my opinion of you was that if any of these leaks were true, you were hurting more than helping. While there I had seen many people attack you in which you quickly responded by attacking their grammar instead of addressing their accusations or concerns. I did not have the full story nor do I now, so I chalked it up as either jealous people attacking you for what you knew or something personal between you and they.

    But as of late it seems like you either want the controversy or that you are purposely trying to sabotage sasquatch research in general... Are you? As I said I do not think you are stupid by any means and all that I have Copy-pasted plus this??? No one is that stupid. Is this bad judgement due to a bad day or some personal issue you are having? Or are you actually wanting the hate posts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I applaud you calling him out for his constant catradictions. But it's ok, really, you can call him stupid. He is. John

      Delete
  19. All I can do is laugh. I hope Robert was being humorous.

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  20. People what we have here is someones real life pedophilic fantasy dressed up as a bigfoot story. That way he can flaunt it in front of everbody. No different than a flasher running butt naked into a womens hair salon jumping up and down yelling someone stole my cloths. J.D.

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. There is no doubt that his intent was humor. But he should have went with a Red-Neck joke, not a Black joke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red Neck jokes are acceptable but "Black jokes" are unacceptable?

      Delete
    2. Of course... Red-Necks think Red-Neck jokes are funny. And there is no "hate-crime" loophole in redneck jokes.

      If Redneck jokes weren't funny to Rednecks, Jeff Foxworthy would never have made it far.

      -A Red-Neck-

      Delete
    3. Black jokes from Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy are funny to Blacks.
      If a white guy tells Black jokes,,it's in poor taste. So by the same rationale, it's unacceptable for Black people to tell redneck jokes.
      You're being a bit hypocritical,don't you think?
      Just because a joke doesn't fall under a "hate-crime loophole" is irrelevant.

      Delete
    4. No black guys on here making redneck jokes. Moot point. John

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    5. Are there any African American Bigfoot researchers?

      Delete
    6. maybe there are. But it is not just about a white guy telling a black joke on a blog that anyone can see... That is one thing. But if Lindsay is trusted by researchers who give him info, then like it or not, he is a representative of the Sasquatch research field just as much as known faces such as Matt Moneymaker. Weather he is a true journalist or not, all it would take is one black guy to see this and the NAACP to spin it before "Sasquatch Community is filled with racists".

      You think no one takes this seriously now?

      Maybe he is like some of the bloggers say. Maybe he is after shock value to make a name for himself. But in this way it reflects on the field.

      Delete
    7. I thought about a redneck joke, but it would not have worked that well. 80% single motherhood rate is hard to beat! Even White trash comes nowhere near that. BTW, one of the reasons I got banned from Bigfoot Forums was for making fun of rednecks. I never knew they were a protected class.

      Delete
  23. OMG..... I can't believe he just said that.Robert you are a bonafide douche-bag!!!! That shit was not funny and to all you bf believers,let's stop falling for this propaganda bullshit.Its big money in this shit for us following something that we don't know if it's truley exist.Let's just wait for that big announcemet "BREAKING NEWS" and see! Fuck U Robert you sperm face BITCH!!!!!!!!

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  24. I'm Ken. Half black/half Tlingit Indian. I have a job, my car is paid for, I've never missed a child support payment and I can swim. I saw the PG film in the early 70's at a movie theater. Two years ago I started following the Bigfoot world and it fascinates me! I check into Bigfoot Evidence everyday and usually enjoy it. RL does get people 'butt-puckered', but he does have some interesting blogs about Bigfoot. I don't hate the guy. He could be using humor to make new friends. I'll leave the bashing of RL to others. What I find very disappointing is the fighting, bickering and the nasty comments posted anonymously on this and other blogs. And I think we'll see alot more of it when the Ketchum research paper is released. I'll be in the mix with the rest of you, but my comments will have my name and now my mug shot on it. Because I choose not to hide. I guess I could post a real shitty commnent, but instant gratification usually doesn't work. I've met some very cool people in my travels to Willow Creek and Santa Cruz. And many folks here have posted fantastic comments on past blogs. I'm learning everyday and I'm looking forward to the 'big day'. Peace.

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    Replies
    1. Oh sweet relief, a voice of reason. Thank you my good man, peace to you too.

      Delete
    2. Hi Ken, pleased to meet you. I'm just fooling around with a little Chris Rock humor here. I figure this humor is ok, but Chimpout is way too much.

      My coblogger is an antiracist Black woman who is not into racist humor. But she read this and it didn't really bother her. What she really hates is Chimpout type stuff, and I don't blame her. This is like something you might here from a Black standup comic.

      Delete
  25. good thing you got that trust fund to fall back on david koresh(lindsay)! you have said some stupid shit over the last year. this one however takes the cake. this truely makes you a bigger super-tool than fatsano. but when i think about it i've been a little hard on timmy. so now he may thank you cause i'm going to let him drift into cabbie space and concentrate only on you slobert lindsay. got a new one for you and i like this one almost(slobert) better than david koresh. and that guy would die again if he new he was taking one for the team just to help me pull your socialist chain. one last question slobert. do you own any bigfoot porn? only a sick socialist would tell us about 2.5 per family. wow.

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    Replies
    1. Now come on, Zabo! Faulting Lindsay for his socialism? That's really an "Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking" type accusation. I would be more bothered about the fact that Robert Lindsay is a racist, sexist, self-important, pseudo-intellectual repressed homosexual with pedophilic tendencies and a deep-seated inferioirity complex.

      THEN, I would mention that he is a "sick socialist."

      Delete
  26. Just read Robert Lindsay's non bigfoot material sometime. You will see what this pedophile is about.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed, his blog is freaking scary. The antisemitism, racism and plain stupidity is just flooding all barriers.

      Delete
  27. Lindsay shove your little boy peanuts in a dresser drawer and slam it shut a few times that way you can ruin that last tiny stitch of manhood that you even have left and we dont have to worry about you breeding and endangering the gene pool in the future!!

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