World Largest Tortoise Found in Amazon River! [Humor and Urban Legends]

By -

(Don't Snopes this, because I totally hope it's real and if you do Snope this, you're a hater).

According to the Facebook page, A Best Page, this giant turtle, found in the Amazon River is around 529 years old! Its height is around 59 feet, weighing 800 pounds! It's freaking incredible!

High resolution (Click image to view)

[via A Best Page]

Comments

  1. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 5:53:00 PM PST

    Who Farted?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 5:56:00 PM PST

    Seems legit

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 5:57:00 PM PST

    The picture is a scene from the 2006 Japanese movie "Gamera the Brave" which features a giant turtle creature..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:39:00 PM PST

      That is Gamera, but he is about 200 feet long. The photo probably is of a prop from the movie being moved...

      Delete
    2. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:46:00 PM PST

      Yup Gamera for sure! Must have been a publicity thing tho as surely Gamera is only about 5 foot tall! He was my favourite even more than Godzilla! Can't beat a man in suit smashing up tiny Tokyo

      Delete
    3. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 7:07:00 PM PST

      Suit-mation blows away CGI!!

      Delete
    4. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 7:12:00 PM PST

      this photo is clearer than any legit bigfoot photo. We need bigfoot hoaxes like this, guys. Come on! Let's do a good one this summer!

      Delete
  4. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 5:59:00 PM PST

    (ken).. Enough soup to end world hunger.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mayor McCheeseFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:01:00 PM PST

    I'm drunk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. bigfoots imaginary broskiFriday, March 8, 2013 at 8:09:00 PM PST

      Drinking fireball Mayor!!!! Good shit.... US can beat Mexico in Soccer but not Baseball and we cant find Bigfoot....Mother Fuc r whats wrong with this world

      Delete
    2. AnonymousSaturday, March 9, 2013 at 3:01:00 AM PST

      I assume you are driving while you are posting this Mayor? The feckless, reckless cheeseburger headed hero strikes again. A genuine role-model for our children to aspire to.

      MMG

      Delete
  6. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:09:00 PM PST

    I sharted.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:12:00 PM PST

    BOWSER!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:13:00 PM PST

    Join the club McCheese...go vodka!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mayor McCheeseFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:17:00 PM PST

      I punched the mirror and bloodied my fist. Now I am looking up at the ceiling fan in my bedroom... while I type on my ipad.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 7:15:00 PM PST

      I just [issed in my bathroom sink I was so frunk!

      Delete
    3. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 7:27:00 PM PST

      I took a shit in my vegetable crisper.

      Delete
    4. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 11:02:00 PM PST

      I burnt the back of my scrotum lighting a fart

      Delete
  9. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:14:00 PM PST

    800 lbs seems a little light. 8,000 lbs maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Taco GravyFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:19:00 PM PST

    Ran out of Bigfoot hoaxes to report? Maybe the next post can feature the top 100 fart videos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:37:00 PM PST

      Dude, what is taco gravy? That sounds fucking delicious.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:42:00 PM PST

      My gravy bowl leaks sometimes.

      Delete
    3. Taco GravyFriday, March 8, 2013 at 8:26:00 PM PST

      You like that? I was in a state of great hunger when it was born.

      Delete
  11. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:25:00 PM PST

    Fukishima.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:28:00 PM PST

    Where's Jim Le"short"bus when we need him, he'll save us with his velcro, dip and geardo super weapons.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mickey VaderFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:32:00 PM PST

    So that is where Aunt Frieda's lawn ornament went.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 6:43:00 PM PST

    My Dog just FARTED .....just saying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 7:05:00 PM PST

      Shure he did ...blame it on the dog..did he eat your homework too???

      Delete
  15. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 7:07:00 PM PST

    Cmon guys you post enough happy horseshit about Bigfoot.... Leave the turtles alone

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownFriday, March 8, 2013 at 10:36:00 PM PST

    Last

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousFriday, March 8, 2013 at 11:39:00 PM PST

    It's just a model of Gamera for a japanese anime museum. They also have a giant gundam and life size head of evangelion robot.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousSaturday, March 9, 2013 at 4:13:00 AM PST

    Bigfoot is known to eat turtles.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousSaturday, March 9, 2013 at 7:28:00 AM PST

    I wonder if it's dead.I would sure like to gut it and live in it's shell..

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousSaturday, March 9, 2013 at 10:18:00 AM PST

    Tontar like Gamera
    Tontar need new pet

    ReplyDelete
  21. HuntrSThompsunSaturday, March 9, 2013 at 6:21:00 PM PST

    That's enough soup to feed alla Ethiopia!

    ReplyDelete
  22. HuntrSThompsunSaturday, March 9, 2013 at 6:21:00 PM PST

    That's enough soup to feed alla Ethiopia!

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousThursday, May 23, 2013 at 4:15:00 AM PDT

    I an the official taco gravy. Your mom turned around and said put your [ick in my Bugatti.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousTuesday, June 11, 2013 at 11:16:00 AM PDT

    Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Internet explorer.
    I'm not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I'd
    post to let you know. The design and style look great though!

    Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Thanks

    Also visit my site: %anchor_text%

    ReplyDelete
  25. UnknownMonday, January 6, 2014 at 2:09:00 PM PST

    So the legends are true... ILL PAY 200,000,000 for that turtle! ALIVE!

    ReplyDelete

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