The Adventures of Jack Bindernagel [Humor]
In all the chaos within the comments section of this blog, there is one comment that always makes us chuckle and that is the "I just got off the phone with Jack Bindernagel..." comment. Whoever you are, please contact us because you sir have talent and we would like to speak with you.
How does one make up such fiction and still remain relevant at the same time? This person manages to mix in all the craziness of Bigfootery and somehow coherently combine them into one story.
Whoever you are, you are quite the treasure. We take our hats off to you for bringing such joy to our lives.
Here's the latest "Jack Bindernagel" story update from a previous post:
Just got off the phone with Jack Bindernagel who tells a similar story.
Back in his days as "Captain Jack Bindernagel" he and his man servant Gargamel went on a similar hunt. They brought with them another young man who agreed to stand guard at camp and prepare meals for the weary hunters. On the second day Jack caught sight of a Sasquatch and yelled "quickly man my rifle" his man servant quickly handed him his rifle and as Jack raised his gun the creature quickly ran off. Jack cursed his fate and took off after the beast. As Jack rounded a bend he just missed being hit by a large rock thrown by the creature. His manservant rounded the bend, pistol in hand and managed to get a shot off grazing the shoulder of the beast.
Jack and his man servant then sat down both taking a heart swig of the Kentucky bourbon they had brought along for just such an occasion. The two returned to their camp guns in hand, ready to fire at the beast they expected to jump out at them at any time.
When they arrived at camp a young James Fay, years before adopting the moniker, "BoBo", was cooking bacon for the two weary hunters. James said "what happened" and a shaken Bindernagel yelled "not now man, not now". Gargamel instructed him to grab one of the spare rifles so he could protect himself in case of an attack.
Finally Jack said "I had it in my sights man, in my sights but you were too slow in giving me my rifle". He then slapped Gargamel with the back of his hand cursing his fates. When Jack calmed down he apologized sating his nerves were frayed and hr fretted that would be their only chance at the creature. Jack then gave instructions on sleeping in shifts and guarding the camp. He vowed he would get the creature the next day and they would begin at first light. Fay was instructed to prepare a hearty breakfast of bacon and pancakes to provide the nourishment they would need.
At first light Jack and his man servant set off to find the creature that alluded them the night before. As they came to the same bend Jack decided they would ascend a small rock base to have the high ground on the creatures. As they reached their chosen location Jack took out his tobacco pouch and rolled a cigarett his nerves still frayed from the past nights events.
He offered a smoke to his trusted man servant who suggested it may be wise to attempt to see if there was a trail of blood as a result of the creature being grazed by his bullet the night before. Jack responded "Jolly damn good idea man, damned good idea".
The two set out and quickly picked up a trail. The two followed and lost track of time. Soon it began to get dark, and the two could not see but 2 to three feet in front of them. Jack said "Dammit man we are close I can feel it". His man servant said if it got any darker they would not be able to find the way back to camp and without food and blankets they could perish.
When the two returned to camp they found it in shambles. Jack called out "James, man James where are you". Soon Gargamel shouted "Captain over here". Huddled between a large rock and tree was a pale James Fay, pale as a ghost, ready to strike at anything that came near him with a frying pan. Jack yelled "James, what happened here man, who or what is responsible for this chaos, the likes which I have never seen before". All James could muster were the sounds "BoBo BoBo". Jack quickly took out his flask and forced James to take a long drink. The bourbon burned his throat going down but brought him back to his senses. He said "It was the Squatches Jack, they were all around me and they wanted the bacon I was cooking".
Captain Jack struggled to hold his composure and said "tell me you protected it, damn man tell me you saved our bacon". Young James looked down in shame and could only muster that "the bacon was gone".
Jack cursed the fates and looked up at the night's sky, he raised his fist and yelled "what the hell are we supposed to have for dinner".
It was then that Jack knew his hunger pains were a sign that he was not meant to slay the mighty Sasquatch.