Watch this: Bigfoot's 5 Modes of Travel
In this video, Michael discusses why Bigfoot is impossible to catch. Is the mythical beast a master at the 5 modes of travel? Just like Ninjas? Watch below:
Bigfoot injured by a forest fire was taken away and hidden by the authorities, not even Robert Lindsay can top this story
This story was circulating the internet way back in 2004, or maybe as far back as 1999. Back when everybody was on 56k dial-up modems and a "Facebook" was just a regular book with directory listing of names and headshots. This story was so disturbing and so shocking that nobody believed it at the time. It was the Robert Lindsay " Bear Hunter: Two Bigfoots Shot and DNA Samples Taken " story of the time. And like Robert's Bear Hunter story , this witness didn't have a name. The only thing known about the witness is that this person was a government employee, anonymous of course. The author of the story was a science teacher named Thom Powell who believe it really happened and that the whole story was an elaborate cover-up. Powell said the anonymous government employee alerted the BFRO about a 7.5 feet long/tall burn victim with "multiple burns on hands, feet, legs and body; some 2nd and 3rd degree burns". Sadly, there was no DNA samples taken from
first again. man, iam a loser and need to go to bed...
ReplyDeleteGo to bed
DeleteSecond
And turn off the lamp.
DeleteThird
1- Teleportation
Delete2- Swing thru trees
3- Phase-shift to different universe
4- Beamed aboard UFO by alien friends
5- Non-existence.
Any questions?
We left one off:
Delete6- Turn into a bear
1. Shape-Shift
Delete2. Cloak of invisibility
3. Ability to be a blur in any camera
4. Rides a unicorn shitting rainbows
5. Professional HOAXER
Nocturnal and nomadic. That alone eliminates being seen by about 99.99 %
DeleteCheshire Cat.
DeleteActually, sasquatches nonexistence easily accounts for Merchant's inability to catch one.
ReplyDelete-Ranger Reason of Logic Land
I know for a FACT they do not exist, because if they did, I would have seen one. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.
DeleteAnd any of you saying you did? you're a LIAR!
You just want attention and financial gain.
no they do exist. they are interdimensional beings. they are the last species created before man to mine gold for the atmosphere of nibiru. these giants helped shape history which you could never comprehend.
DeleteAnon-2:47, You're the gayest kind of fag.
DeleteHow much gayer is that than gay?
DeleteWhat if Sasquatch can wiggle his ears so fast, that he's able to gain flight? Just sayin'
^Tried putting apostrophes in name/url. I made the same rookie troll mistake a long time ago when I posted a comment as Herb Gardner's bong.
DeleteLOL!
Deletei like how everyone just ignores the idiot swp and just runs away with the comments section
ReplyDeleteADH....
DeleteGood piece, SWP! Excellent insight.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you're posting here in the forums, SWP! No one here likes you so this post must be fake.
DeleteI don't know I actually feel stupider just having listened
Delete----- HAPPY NEW YEAR------
You fuckin bitch ass cock meat sandwiches
trollmobile -anyone can hitch a ride on BF fuel
ReplyDeleteHow long has this guy been making YouTubes, I haven't watched one, I tried once or twice.
ReplyDelete@anom 4:53: I know what you mean. At first it's the over-energized delivery that's hard to watch. Then you notice a nasty sniping sarcasm that creeps into the videos whenever the twit tries to refute someone else's work. Let's face it: the whole subject may turn out to be hooey but seeing it from this little creep's perspective is just not worth the aggravation.
Deletemeth or coke does that to you
DeleteThis is your typical fuck-nut that's running around in the forest looking for mythical animals. Why is it that most of these loosers are just like this guy? I can only imagine what the rest of the loosers look and act like from the so-called "Team TAZER"... Too much LSD fucks with the brain... Fucking wackos...
DeleteAgree - who watches these things?
DeleteNOTHING RUNS LIKE A DEER !
ReplyDeleteCome on, a deer runs like a deer...
DeleteWhat in the Algonquin war horse is going on? Can the Sasquatch really do all those things that this Professor says? Hello? Anyone please answer...
ReplyDeleteWill this be Mastercard or Visa?
DeleteWould you like some fries with that make sure you remember these words cause you are really gonna need them soon on a min to min basis
Delete@5:11 Yes "The Sasquatch" CAN and DOES do all that.
ReplyDeletePlus, "The Sasquatch" can do more, because he carries the Five-C's Of Survivability. And I suggest you do likewise.
@5:52 That's priceless dude!
Because he carries what? What the hell is that?!
DeleteMy God! Look how clean his car is! He must be a genius or something!
ReplyDeleteMichael is very good at most thing in the woods and keeps his ride clean. I can respect that.
DeleteSally
Good morning my darlings. Where else can you find reason combined with piety?
ReplyDeleteMichel is right. We have discoved animals with various forms of locomotion. The Sasquatch we saw in Africa combined running with climbing.
I suggest more people get into the woods.
Have a Happy New year. I will be enjoying champagne and cuban cigars with dear friends in crypto world.
Take care my darlings.
^^ Keeps his poop in a jar
DeleteJungle James is quite correct; the Sasquatch we saw in East Cleveland combined running, jumping, cussing, and firing over his shoulder with a 9mm.
DeleteI will be celebrating New Years by masturbating like a chimp in a cage.
- A real bigfoot I swear to God
Africa! Tell us more!!
DeleteAfrica? Jungle Jim, are you patient zero? You got some splainin to do Lucy....
DeleteAnd his gerbil in his ass
Delete
ReplyDeleteI feel good knowing BigFoot is out there.
I don't know, it just makes me feel good.
Well quit jacking off at the though of some mythical being, wipe up and tell mom you will be coming out of the basement for breakfest with her.
DeleteMichael Merchant's 5 modes of travel: 1- Runs (his mouth constantly) 2- Rides(the white pony commonly known as methanphetamine) 3-Drives (everyone crazy with his shitty videos) 4-Flies (off the handle for no reason, especially when talking about blacks and jews 5-Rides (dicks).
ReplyDeleteLove it!
DeleteSWP please do me a favor and ask Damian Bravo to post another photo of Daisy like he did yesterday. I feel like I missed out on the festivities. Please
ReplyDeleteI second the motion. I suspect Shawn could treble his hits overnight with the proper display of woman flesh. It's obvious that his wife simply won't let him.
DeleteIf mulder says bigfoot is real then that's good enough for me. Let's throw logic and reason out the window who needs that!
ReplyDeleteThe funniest thing about bigfooting is that people continue to look for it even though it doesn't exist, makes me smile!
ReplyDeleteIt's almost as elusive as you trying to find your little dick with that fat gut hanging over it.
DeleteWhat's even funnier, is that most of them know they don't exist. Nowadays, it's not easy finding comedy this good.
DeleteEvery time a footer masterbates to patty's hairy titties a juvenile squatch dies somewhere
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous
DeleteI don't get the connection..?
If Jimmy Stewart was still alive he might be able to tell you. I have no fucking idea why an angel gets its' wings when a bell rings either.
DeleteSo, you fools are aware that SWP doesn't believe BF exists, right? That doesn't mean he has both oars in the water though. Anyone that drives around in their car, making a video of themselves rambling on like this, has got to have a screw loose.
ReplyDeleteMichael doesn't have screws, just mortise and tenon
DeleteLol! I'm a woodworker, so I get that!
DeleteI thought him and his little friends found tracks up in Maine or something.
DeleteI was going to click on the link but was distracted by a fast paced discussion about manticores and boners.
His wife probably just had enough of his fuckin mouth and decided she wasn't gonna be the one to film his bullshit anymore he had to stop using the yard also or she was gonna fuck him up and I don't know if I had to film the craziness everyday I'd whip the fuckin video camera at his fuckin head
DeleteI know this has been said before on this blog, but I'd like to reiterate.
ReplyDeleteThere is no bigfoot out there in the woods. The people claiming to see them are either LIARS, or mistaken. (most of them are bold face liars!) It's not my problem if you can't handle or accept the truth.
Someone is going to get shot if this charade of bigfoot is kept up.
Shut up dipshit! What do you think we're waiting for?
DeleteIf you think a person getting shot all because some numb nuts "footer" thinks hes shooting at a bigfoot is cool, great. Most rational people would rather the myth be exposed than people dying over something so foolish.
DeleteI seen a comment where Sasquatch wears a Rhodesian chest rig with full load-out, and if he does, then he's no doubt packing and will fire back. And since he IS a master woodsman, he'll have the drop on ya, just sayin'
ReplyDeleteIs "driving in the car commentary" the new "thing." Jesus. Annoying. Really. If you are driving and commenting, it should preface with where you are coming from and going.
ReplyDeletee.g. "I'm coming from the dry cleaners then to the laundry mat and then home and thought this would be a great time to talk about my great bigfoot thoughts..."
Until he starts getting zoned out from the shear joy of hearing himself speak and rolls that mini van in a fuckin ditch
DeleteHe speaks the truth. The other day my wife was harping on me about getting the lawn mowed so went out there and started mowing and damn if I didn't come across a Bigfoot hiding in 10,000 blades if grass! I said holy shit! But he wasn't moving and I yelled for the wife to come out and she got real upset with me, thinking I done something to him. I told her I just found him like that! She went over to him and bent down. I told her to stay away! And wouldn't you know he done jumped up grabbed her and ran off into the woods with her! I could hear her screaming a mile off! I ran into the house grabbed a six pack if beer and sat down to watch the game. I never liked her much and I sure as hell hate mowing the lawn.
ReplyDeleteNice Article. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete