Check out this news story on an all female group of bigfoot researchers in the northern United States. Will they be the ones to solve the mystery once and for all?
Female Bigfoot researcher groups must be in vogue. The woman who organized the Nebraska conference said she has a 5 member female group called the "Bigfoot Crossroads of America".
There is no doubt that fracking and global warming have had disastrous consequences on bigfoot populations. Due to habitat loss and climate change, they have to scatter farther and farther from the Pacific Northwest in order to scavenge for food. So much so that they have now been spotted in every state.
The hole in the ozone layer has also affected sasquatches. Their skin is known to have a pigmentation that is similar to humans with red hair. This combined with excessive UV exposure due to ozone layer depletion causes sasquatches to be susceptible to severe sunburn and skin diseases.
Global warming causes bigfoot to get too hot and sweaty during a "beating the meat" session. Therefore bigfoot doesn't like global warming. Fracking also causes random oil and water spouts to explode up the unsuspecting anus's of many wondering bigfeet. Therefore bigfeet do not like fracking. This is fact. And the "dream sighting" crew will enforce it.
Troll: I just can't find fulfillment in life. I feel so insecure. I feel misunderstood.
Trolls therapist : Have you ever tried going out into the real world and leaving the basement? Having a meaningful connection with another human being? It will change your life.
Troll: No, I'd rather stay here and diddle myself while I troll a bigfoot website.
Rumors abound on whether or not Finding Bigfoot will continue, but hopeful news is on the horizon. Snake Oil Productions, the production company responsible for Finding Bigfoot, is seeking a permit for filming in the Monterey, Virginia area. Monterey lies between the Monongahela and George Washington National Forests. Definitely a good place to look for bigfoot. We can only speculate if this means Finding Bigfoot has been signed on for additional seasons, or if perhaps a new bigfoot show is in the works. We'll keep you updated on any further announcements for sure.
Editor's Note: This is a guest post by Suzie M., a sasquatch enthusiast. Crypto-linguists believe that the species known Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti/Yowie ect speak and understand a complex language, which by all accounts seems to stem from Asia. When one listens to it there is definitely a sense of it being Chinese or Japanese. It is a very odd mix of sounds, clicks and what could be actual words. This is the reason some experts are looking into the Asian dialect theory, some have said it could be a lost dialect, which was carried from Asia by the Bigfoot species that colonised America.
This story was circulating the internet way back in 2004, or maybe as far back as 1999. Back when everybody was on 56k dial-up modems and a "Facebook" was just a regular book with directory listing of names and headshots. This story was so disturbing and so shocking that nobody believed it at the time. It was the Robert Lindsay " Bear Hunter: Two Bigfoots Shot and DNA Samples Taken " story of the time. And like Robert's Bear Hunter story , this witness didn't have a name. The only thing known about the witness is that this person was a government employee, anonymous of course. The author of the story was a science teacher named Thom Powell who believe it really happened and that the whole story was an elaborate cover-up. Powell said the anonymous government employee alerted the BFRO about a 7.5 feet long/tall burn victim with "multiple burns on hands, feet, legs and body; some 2nd and 3rd degree burns". Sadly, there was no DNA samples taken from
Is one of them by chance named Patty?
ReplyDeleteLOL. Too funny. I almost peed my pants.
DeleteToo late, you know you already had.
DeleteFemale Bigfoot researcher groups must be in vogue. The woman who organized the Nebraska conference said she has a 5 member female group called the "Bigfoot Crossroads of America".
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's the Bigfoot themed girl band from LA called Rock Throw Tree Knocks. You can see some of their live stuff on YouTube bootlegs.
DeleteThe idea of bigfoot is just comical at this point
DeleteA bigfoot walks into a bar...
DeleteHe was too tall to see it.
"Six tits,3 slits,best welsh female band ever"-Joe Fitsgerald
DeleteI had to laugh at one of the questions posed by a audience member at the Nebraska Conference. I quote:
ReplyDelete"How do you think Bigfoot is affected by fracking and global warming?"
The speaker replied he did not believe in global warming.
There is no doubt that fracking and global warming have had disastrous consequences on bigfoot populations. Due to habitat loss and climate change, they have to scatter farther and farther from the Pacific Northwest in order to scavenge for food. So much so that they have now been spotted in every state.
DeleteThe hole in the ozone layer has also affected sasquatches. Their skin is known to have a pigmentation that is similar to humans with red hair. This combined with excessive UV exposure due to ozone layer depletion causes sasquatches to be susceptible to severe sunburn and skin diseases.
LOL! Well there you go - a logical answer!
DeleteIf bigfoot are relatives of humans, are they eligible for food stamps and Obamacare?
DeleteWell if you get them I dont see why they shouldn't have some too.
DeleteBoom ching. Thank you ladies and germs. I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your bigfoot researcher.
DeleteGlobal warming causes bigfoot to get too hot and sweaty during a "beating the meat" session. Therefore bigfoot doesn't like global warming. Fracking also causes random oil and water spouts to explode up the unsuspecting anus's of many wondering bigfeet. Therefore bigfeet do not like fracking. This is fact. And the "dream sighting" crew will enforce it.
DeleteTroll: I just can't find fulfillment in life. I feel so insecure. I feel misunderstood.
DeleteTrolls therapist : Have you ever tried going out into the real world and leaving the basement? Having a meaningful connection with another human being? It will change your life.
Troll: No, I'd rather stay here and diddle myself while I troll a bigfoot website.
Trolls therapist: SIGH!!!
^
DeleteTroll: I'm trying to get laughs by cutting and pasting the same stale lines, but it just isn't coming across as funny.
Troll therapist: Have you tried going and getting a job? Have you tried to stop playing video games?
Troll: No, I'd rather stay here and let others pay my way in life.
Troll therapist: Sigh!!!
Troll: Hey mom! Is dinner ready yet?
Haaaa! So funny Haints! Thats your bio alright. I can appreciate a troll that is able to joke about his own pathetic situation.
Delete^ has good company
Delete